Why I Don’t Blog About My Personal Life Anymore

This blog is a treasure trove of personal beliefs, endeavors, and relationships – especially if you scroll back into the archives (near a decade ago). I started it as a personal outlet, separate from any “professional” pursuits (like LockerGnome or Gnomedex). Over time, it evolved into a nexus point for most of my activities. I’ve written less about personal matters in recent years for a variety of reasons – not the least of which is lacking the need to share everything when judgment is all that seems to rain down from the heavens.

My entire adult life has played out online in some form (and it started long before ‘social media’ was a buzzword). Even if I didn’t share an experience here, it might’ve been shared anywhere else on the Internet – as open and free publishing tools have become insanely pervasive. I don’t owe anybody an explanation for why I do what I do in my personal life.

While I continue to embrace new forms of community via emerging platforms (like Google+, the baby on the block), I try to hold inevitable invasiveness at bay. People tend to pry and project – so even when you mean well, just expect that they’ll be mean in return. I strive for transparency, but not so much that I lose everything about myself in the mix. You know I’m a geek, love creating content, and have carved out a career around my passions and interests – and that’s all most people really need to know.

Despite the ease of sharing everything online, I find myself pulling back if a service or community is taking more than it gives.

Having played out certain parts of my past personal relationships online, I’ve learned that the fewer details I give, the better. I was reluctant to even bring up my girlfriend’s name, for fear that her own identity would be fully revealed and people would pander, attack, exploit, and otherwise emotionally harm her. It slipped out in a recent (planned) live video on YouTube, wherein I wanted to introduce her to my world of followers:

Inevitably, there’s always some dumbass who finds it proper to dredge up times and names past (in an attempt to evoke shame). They’re the “people” who keep me from sharing everything. Lucky for me, my girlfriend understands – and only plays with social media on the outskirts. I don’t think I could ever be with someone who used Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Google+, or anything else the way that some people (like myself) do. There’s always the risk of overexposing a personal pain and suffering the unintended consequences.

For that reason, and that reason alone, my girlfriend’s full identity (and face) will be kept intentionally off the radar until we’re damn well ready to share more. People have caught lighthearted glimpses and have guessed incorrectly – to what end? She’s not going to open her life to you, and I don’t blame her.

I barely want to open up my life to you – and I’ve been doing that for fifteen years.

I consider just about every social media outlet a blog, too – all the way down to a tweet. You’re sharing information, right? What does it matter where or how you share it? Now we’re just down to arguing semantics. I don’t share details about my personal life anymore because it’s MY personal life, not yours.

What you see of me, you see, and upon that data, you’ll form your own judgments and opinions. Understand, however, that you only see a fraction of the person I really am – and it’ll remain that way for the rest of my life. I need to save things for myself and my truly loved ones.

I love you, too – but I gotta keep most of y’all at a comfortable distance.

25 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Blog About My Personal Life Anymore”

  1. Well said, Chris. You gotta look out for you and yours, because no one will do it for you. The people that really care about you won’t think anything less of you.

  2. I’m just annoyed that we need to change to every new social propaganda! I mean there was myspace then people after Facebook its not cool to use myspace and people left myspace now there is google+ now my friends started using it and they left Facebook saying that Facebook is not good after they dragged me to use it in the first place! They worshiped Facebook but after google+ they are ready to spit on it! I just wish there was some kind of law to control these things I mean we don’t need chaos in communication why don’t we simply make 1 social website that has it all.

  3. I feel the same way. This was one of the reasons I scaled back on my postings. People don’t understand some things need to stay private and don’t need to be public knowledge. IDK how you do it.

  4. Feck the haters Chris, Your blog is YOUR blog, not for someone else to tell you what you should be writing, let alone your personal information. Reading the chat that night of the livestream on YouTube, people wanted to know every single last detail of your girlfriend, right down to her blood type.

    There is a line that doesn’t and shouldn’t be crossed no matter how long you have been on the internet. 

    I wouldn’t give two flying monkeys if you have a amputated leg, because I (and a lot of other people) don’t “follow” you for your personal life, but for what you do, blogging, making videos, and talking about things in the tech world and beyond. 

    Whatever happens between you and your girlfriend, I wish you the best in the world but at the end of the day, I am here for the blogs, the videos and more.

    🙂

  5. I think chris is a great tech leader but he has a right to keep what ever he wants privet. Please let him live his life the way he wants. There is no reason to try to shame him or anyone he cares about. Great blog post chris.

  6. You stream your home office 24/7. What else do people want? If they have that much time to worry about your life, they must not have one of their own. Keep doing what your doing. They community will always support you.

  7. Chris, your experience isn’t a new one – it goes with celebrity. While it doesn’t negate the problem, you can at least take some solace in knowing that you’ve created enough of a presence to create a following. The difference is that you’re much more open and accessible than most celebrities.

    Until we get back to understanding that manners are important, it’s going to be a sad fact that there will be people who just don’t know what constitutes appropriate behavior.

    Keep doing what you do, man. Society is wrestling with issues it’s never had to deal with before (ubiquitous connectivity, instant access to information) and we just haven’t invented all of the mechanisms we need. Our technology is moving faster than our ability to assimilate it.

  8. I completely get it Chris. I too try to keep many personal aspects of my life off of my blog. I have featured my girlfriend in one of my videos and so far got no backlash…yet. Still, it is one of those things I choose to do carefully. So believe me…I get it.

  9. Great article and I for one really appreciate the insight and thought you have put into this post.  Thank you for sharing.

  10. Great article and I for one really appreciate the insight and thought you have put into this post.  Thank you for sharing.

  11. Been a fan since early Tech TV days.  (Loved your 24 hour show!)  I “Follow” you for your insight, humor, knowledge, your passion for Tech and how it relates to our lives.  Your statement above is an extension of just that.  How do we live and thrive in such an “Open Source” society.  Where are the lines we draw around ourselves and how do we control them without them controlling us?  How do you find yourself in a position of defending your right to privacy?  Shouldn’t that be inherent to living your life, apparently not or You and I wouldn’t be writing this.  Even though you have been put in the position of having to declare where your lines are drawn (sorry you had to) the positive of your statement is that is exactly what your career is about, Tech and how we interact with it.  Keep on keepin on my brother.

  12. Chris, I think you’re a incredibly smart person. I agree with you completely, who is anyone to say that she must reveal herself, or yourself to the whole world? I think a distance from your viewers is a good idea, and necessary.. People have to be careful with what you chose to put on the internet. 

  13. you contradict yourself friend. you want to be transparent. you don’t want anyone to know anything about your personal life. you bring your girlfriend’s boobs into your videos and act surprised at how people act. you’re a personality. congratulations. deal with it. this post is nothing more than troll log.

    1. She is pleasant to the eye. So is a bowl of fruit or a mountain scene. I like seeing that nice young lady’s face and hearing her. She is as cool as Chris is.
      What a loss for me if they should bugger off into a very private life, which would be their right. Lucky for me, if not you,  they bless us with their smiles, humour and honesty.
      Look at The Great Leader in WashingtonDC, with all the coaching and primping, he is an awkward almost robotic stick man. Chris is natural, just a guy down the street. He shouldn’t have to ‘deal with it.’ Oh, the Great Leader does, but not Chris.

  14. Good for you Chris!  I much prefer the funny, techie/geeky stuff anyway 🙂  Been watching you since Call for Help.  You were great on that show.

  15. I am a bit older than you. Never mind.
    I have watched your face grow from a boy’s [sorry] into a man’s. I don’t want to know you. And your privacy is as important to me as it is to you, no really! I think that is as it should be. Have you ever found out something about somebody that you didn’t want to know and it hurt to learn it? You know, you cannot ‘unsee something you have just seen…’ old saying I did not quote correctly.
    As you get grizzled and hit your gray years, I will be happy knowing you are still here. And that is all I want or need to know about you in the future. I say ‘How are you?’ you answer with ‘I am fine, and you?’ and I say that I am too. And then we don’t go and have dinner together or organize a campaign, we instead, wander off distracted by more important things.
    I have had a blast reading your words and watching your vids. You have never caused me any pain. I take care to not cause pain to you in my comments on the youtube when I watch your stuff and there is comments below that I can enter stuff into if I want.
    I got all freaked out back-in-the-day when I had some IRC and some stuff I read hurt my feelings. It was back then, that I took measures to secure myself.
    Back then, you weren’t working for us. but a few years later, I got on the youtube thingie and there you were, being way more candid than I had already learned to not be……. hehe. I figured a torrent of pain was going to come your way, if it had not already. You wear your heart on your sleeve sometimes, when you ought not to have.
    I am happy to read your blog entry above and find that, at last, you have put a clamp on that fiery torrent.
    Way to go, man!

    If I were to stumble upon a wiki with my moniker on top, I would freak right out, it might cost me my life. And I am just a regular guy, not a criminal or a tyrant, no drama in my life, still, getting notorious for any reason, good or bad brings the torrent of wicked flame, damn it.
    Do you like being notorious? No, really. Do you enjoy people on the street who you have never met calling you by your name and perhaps coming too near your Personal Zone? I can only imagine the terror that could bring on in me.
    So, hi, how are you?
    [GRIN!]

    Peace you are a good guy.

    Brad from Canada

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