Sideburns Tutorial: A “How To” Cosmetics Beauty Tip


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In case you haven’t noticed, I’m in the process of starting a new trend! There are so many GIRLS all over the Internet (and specifically the YouTube Guru area) who are gorgeous – and helping other women get gorgeous, as well. You know what and who I mean… those women who are giving all the beauty tips. Where the hell are the ones for us DUDES?? I decided it’s high time we had some of our own, and I think I’m just the man to help you. Therefore, stay tuned for more from the Geek Eye for the Sloppy Guy!

It’s okay to have sideburns, so long as they’re kept in check (and you’re a dude – because sideburns on a chick is NOT HOT). It’s possible for those suckers to get away from you if you don’t take regular care of them. And then – you’re stuck looking like you live in the 70s. Dude, let’s not go back there, mkay?

The biggest part of sideburn management is to make sure they’re even. It’s easy to tell if they’re even or not at any time. Take two fingers – one from each hand. Place them alongside (underneath) the level at which your sideburn starts. They should be completely even… imagine an invisible line drawn between them if you have to.

If your sideburns are bushy and “loud”, get rid of them. Or at the very least, keep them trimmed. Sideburns like those worked back in the 1800s – not so much now. Seriously, it’s just scary dude.

So how long should the sideburns be? Simple – have them come just below your eye level. If they’re even with your eyes, then they really aren’t even sideburns. If they’re too long, you just look unkempt or weird to the ladies.

Show the girls you take good care of yourself. Us guys have to work just as hard as the ladies do in order to look our best – we just don’t usually care to tell them so. My assistant Kat has seven older brothers, so she has a tad bit of experience at dealing with guys and their grooming habits. She swears that boys take just as long as girls in the bathroom primping – and sometimes take longer! I’m not so sure she’s correct, but who am I to argue? We all know arguing with a woman doesn’t do us much good, right guys?

On that note, I should just wrap this up by reminding you that it’s important to look your best. It doesn’t matter if you have a girl, or are trying to get a girl. It doesn’t matter if you work from home in your pajamas or boxers. It’s all about feeling your best. That’s what will make you more productive, and more content with who you are. Once you are content and happy with yourself – others will be happier with you. See where I’m going with this?

Keep an eye out for more of these tips. I have a feeling we’ve hit upon something new and great with this! What do you think?

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