Tips for Getting, and Keeping, That Super Geeky Girl

Geek!This is Amber’s submission for the HP Magic Giveaway. Feel free to leave comments for this article as you see fit – your feedback is certainly welcomed! If you’d like to submit your own how-to, what-is, or top-five list, you can send it to me. Views and opinions of this writer are not necessarily my own:

You know you’ve seen her, fellas. She’s not a cheerleader, and she wasn’t the prom queen. Most likely, she’s the girl who carried a sci-fi novel in her backpack, right next to her GBA in high school. She probably spent prom night at a LAN party, rather than subjecting herself to dancing to top 40 songs and avoiding the eager hands of an excitable classmate. Today, you probably see her in a cubicle, partially hidden behind her Pokemon figurines and her demotivational posters. While rare, these girls are approachable – though you may need to change your game plan a bit.

  1. Find out what she’s into, and strike up a conversation about it. Does she like video games? Is she into a certain sort of literature? Maybe she owns all the seasons of Star Trek and enjoys watching them in all-night marathons! This works even better if you find out what the two of you both like, and can have an in-depth conversation about it. Who knows, maybe it could even be first date material! A candlelight dinner followed by a Star Wars marathon? Score!
  2. Just because she gets more frags than you do, doesn’t mean she’s not girly. Sure, we geeky females like to show how smart and independent we are, but little things aren’t lost on us. Compliments to our outfits and appearance are always nice! Oh, come on, girls. You know you love it when a guy calls you pretty! Flowers, cards, and small tokens are still welcomed. Provided that she isn’t a hardcore feminist, you should always open the door for a girl, and take her out on the town every so often. I’m not saying that you need to buy a geek girl’s affections, but it is nice to show that you recognize her for more than just her ability to kick ass at Halo. Homemade free gifts are always welcomed, too. You could always fashion a home made Valentine from old electronics, you know. Example: – w00t!
  3. Don’t automatically assume you’re the first guy to ask us out. Sure, we’re geeky. While we may not be the first girl on every guy’s mind, you shouldn’t assume that we’re going to be an easy target – and don’t expect that we’re going to be grateful that you’ve come along to sweep us off our feet and into bed. Remember: we’re geeky by choice, and we were doing fine before you came along. You have to make sure we know that the two of us be doing even better now that you’re here. Do this by being affectionate, not by acting like you’re rescuing us from lonely Saturday nights.
  4. Don’t feel like you need to constantly try to out-game us, and don’t assume that we need your help. It’s really annoying when you point out what we’re supposed to be doing in a game. Even if we’re not as good as you in certain things, there is a self-gratification that comes from beating a game all by ourselves. Trust me: if we need your help, we’ll ask. Well, maybe after we consult a walk-through, but only if we’re really stuck.
  5. Try new things together. Just like any other relationship, this could get boring fast if all you two do is watch movies or play the same games together. Just because you two are geeky, that doesn’t mean that you can’t head out for a night on the town! Or maybe a picnic is more your style. After all, you could always bring your DSes and play after the potato salad has been put away. Sure, you can bowl a 300 on Wii Bowling, but maybe you two could have a friendly wager over who can knock down more pins in a real bowling alley. These are the sort of things that make relationships memorable – and lasting.

Point is, fellas: take a shine to what she’s into, don’t forget that she actually is – you know – a girl. Oh, and be prepared to argue over who gets to play the 360 every so often, as that is just inevitable.

And ladies, cut him some slack. Chances are, he’s trying pretty hard, you know.

Happy geeking!

68 thoughts on “Tips for Getting, and Keeping, That Super Geeky Girl”

  1. well, I have to say it’s a very smooth approach your building here ms. kitty. Don’t forget the general maintenance tricks though, laying the pipe, pleasing the people, and making her people somewhat your people. If you can do all that guys you’re set for life.

  2. This guide is pretty cute and informative. 😀 Kind of favors Xbox 360s I thought, but overall pretty great.

  3. Just wondering if comments are up, or back up, or whatever. A number of my friends had said they had commented here, but nothing had showed up. You are more than welcome to delete this comment shortly after it is posted.

  4. Coming from a geeky girl, I would say this article is fairly spot on! I enjoyed reading it, and I really hope that some guys will actually take notice, because it’s quite informative.

  5. Sound advice, if I hung out with nerd chicks I would totally test these theories! They’re the rarest of the rare. Nicely written.

  6. Pretty much dead on , fellas.

    It’s not hard to be romantic as well as geeky at the same time. One of the sweetest moments I’ve had with a boyfriend was when we laid beside each other and played Player Vs Player on New Super Mario Bros on the DS together. Just don’t forget let us win every once awhile (at least in my case because as much I love video games, I tend to suck a bit at them).

  7. I want that lamp.

    States the obvious for the most part, but more as a reminder with a few hidden gems of wisdom. Extremely well written and pretty funny, as evidenced by the fact that it kept my attention throughout. And that’s saying something. 😛

  8. Good advice, Amber. I’ve never actually dated a geeky chick, but they sound like fun. Where are all the cute geeky cubicle girls hiding? I think I speak for a lot of guys when I say that we’re tired of pretending to like dance clubs.

  9. Though I am not a geek of this caliber, I think these tips apply for the entire spectrum of geekdom. By finding out what I like and applying it to things he likes, we have a winner. Example: Webcomics, much? Take my hatred of grad school and my love of Achewood and send me Pictures for Sad Children. And then we can try whatever Miles Grover recommends us to read together. And that’s special.

    Thanks for compiling this! Quite good, jolly good. Pip tut.

  10. This.. Is actually very truthful. It was well written Amberina. I think my small group of girlfriends would be considered these type of girls, as, I know I am.
    If most guys take this guide to heart, they’ll actual know how to handle said type of girls, without messing up at least.
    I really enjoyed reading it.

  11. Ha, this is well said and unique. Its hits close to home because I sorta identify with the “geek” label. Not to a full extent, but to some. Just because I’m having trouble in a game doesn’t mean I need help! >.<

  12. Great tips and info on getting that geeky girl that guys been after.
    I enjoyed reading it and I’m sure guys will find this helpful 😀

  13. I agree with you entirely – especially on out-gaming. This one guy who’s interested in me, and I like him as a friend – we both know plenty of 4chan jokes to keep things amusing, among other Internet memes – but he kept trying to tell me how to beat Portal while I was playing it on his computer. It really ticked me off, because I was figuring it out on my own easily enough when he wasn’t “just helping”.

    No, I don’t get to play many console games, I’m more of an old school PC gamer, but that still qualifies me as geeky!

  14. A candlelight dinner followed by a Star Wars marathon? Score!

    Sounds like a good time for my boyfriend and I. We’re very big on marathons. We’re planning on breaking out the Godfather over Christmas break.

  15. Totally think this covers the geeky girl’s out there. I completely get where you are coming from and it shines a BRIGHT new light on us…that everyone has to see…u rock Amber!

  16. You provide some great beginner tips for getting to know the opposite sex of gamers, the one thing I strongly agree with is about the fact that you probably aren’t the first person to ask this techie out. Just because gamers often seem like they are social oddities, chances are you would just embarass youself with a mindset that you are the best thing he/she has ever seen and will ever get.

  17. I’ve had the chance to date a couple of geeky girls, but I must say guys that you shouldn’t make this your goal. It’s fun to have someone around that has very similar interests than you, but there are more important things in life than sharing hobbies. This article was all well and good, and I’m not trying to troll, just adding my comment on the topic.

  18. So very accurate! As a nerd-girl myself, I hate when guys feel the need to outgame me just because I’m a girl. Intimidated much? 🙂 I share a huge amount of the same interests the average male geek does, so it’s really to their benefit!

    I hope this helps the shy guy to finally take that first step and talk to that cute geek he’s had his eye on.

  19. i really like this guide because it is a good reminder that geeky s need to be aproched differently they are like a whole different kind of .

    and i agree with jake i am super tired of pretending i actually like hanging out in clubs just to meet chicks

  20. I may not be “geeky” but some of these are the same way to pick up any girl really. I may not be into Star Wars and Video games but I like a man who is into the same things I am.

    Wonderful job though. Definatly held my attention and gave me a few giggles.

  21. C: If there was anything I would refer a guy to reading, it’s this. I’d be “Home-skillet, read and repent.”.

    A lot of this made me crack a laugh, girl. Especially the commenting part. Every girl is always touched a little in the heart when a guy points out something they like about her ;).

  22. It’s not easy to generalize for *all* types of geek girls, but I’ve been friends with a number of them, and given their complaints about guys, this seems like a good starting point. Nice work!

  23. I am not as geeky as the girls being described in this essay, I am however extremely quit and introverted. Personally this kind of relationship sounds amazing. I think that these tips are good solid advise for anyone trying to date a girl who is a tad on the geeky side. This is also good advise for dating in general. Just because a girl is better than you at something doesn’t mean she thinks of you as less of a man.

  24. The Geeky girls heart wants, what the geeky heart wants.
    Remember listen and learn from her.
    Good Job
    Geek Power <3

  25. Definitely agree with this–even though I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few years, I hope guys look at this. I’ve had so many idiots to deal with otherwise who just didn’t get it…

    But yeah, I highly recommend they STUDY #3 and #4 XD Especially #4.

  26. As a geeky dude, this article was pretty informative. I was most surprised to see the outpour of comments in support of the “don’t help us if we don’t ask for it” remark. I’ll be sure to bite my tongue from now on!

  27. Hmmm, I like the last of the five the best…bowling in Wii is definitely easier, but in RL it’s much more fun. And I think I’ve turned my girl into a geeky girl, though she was kinda geekyish to start….hmmm….

  28. I enjoyed reading it . It is nice to get a girl’s idea on the dateing seen. I do belive thoe these coments will really work with any girl. As long as you have some like intrest and some things that you can do apart so you don”t smother each other .

  29. Nicely written, informative, good advice for one and all, not just geeky girls. Although maybe there is a little “geek” in all of us. One good point you made, “just get to know the person”, could be your new best friend.

  30. This is some pretty good advice, however, I feel like it’s only half of the equation. I’ve yet to meet a geeky girl that isn’t either married or engaged. I’d love a follow-up post on how to meet these mythical single geeky girls.

  31. very informational and well written article. as a bit of a geek myself, i tend to gravitate to those types of girls when looking for somebody to talk to or even see if a relationship can begin. and this article definately has some good tips in it that can (and probably should) be used by guys who are into these types of girls. ^_^

  32. Amber, great article.

    Personally being a geek myself I’d want to find a like minded person to spend all of my sparetime with. No point being in a relationship with someone if you’ve nothing in common.

    Plus if you dated a geek they’ll more than likely understand you obsession with geeky things.

    Geek Chicks rock!

  33. I really like this, and I think I agree with you.
    All geeks need love, you just need to go about it the right way, and this is sure going to help some of them!

  34. I liked your sentence “Trust me: if we need your help, we’ll ask. “, but is it something of a freak girl? I think that this comment works for all the girls of the world. You are not stupid… unless you really seems to be :P. Don’t presume it.

  35. spirit of competition runs in a males body no matter age sex or ability to succeed. a girl is a mystery to guys we’ll never understand them fully but it works the same way from our point of view we try to be competitive like it’s. when it comes to life as you get older you stop caring you stop giving people the time of day for anything open your eyes and open your heart to reality once and awhile and see what other people want you may find out more about yourself and even better you won’t be troubled by many things as your brain expands and you keep learning. a geek a prep a whatever you may be it doesn’t matter it’s life as long as you learn from mistakes treat people with the respect they give you there shouldn’t be a problem

  36. This is a great article. Although the last time I had shown any interest in a girl like this article describes, I had my heart broken for a terrible reason (not fault on my end, except not asking her out). Although this has inspired me to try again. Maybe there is hope for me. 🙂

  37. Heya, Jerm’s friend here.
    He asked me to stop by and give your little article a read and whatnots.

    Great job, it’s really hard to find a girl like that in my experiences. haha Or at least one who I can get along with. Perhaps someone should write up one of these for girls looking to get with geeky guys as well. Haha

    Still, I had fun reading it, and as to where I knew most of this stuff already, I hope it could help someone. I hope you win the contest Jermaine was talking about.

  38. That’s pretty helpful, and would of came in handy back in high school when a lot of the girls I was into were this type.

    But I guess its never too late to learn something new. This should be helpful to the guys going after that type.

  39. There’s a lot of good points that have been made in this article. It seems to me like the problems with guys’ approaches you listed here are applicable to guys in general. Old social stereotypes for guys versus girls are still perpetuated, and we see that when a guy tries to tell a girl how to Portal or has to show how much better he is at Halo. It’s all puffery. Relax, dudes, and treat her like an equal. Better yet, treat her the way you’d like her to treat you. You’d be surprised how far that’ll get you.

  40. Sounds like a good start. Of course, its hard to define all geeky girls in such a short article, but we love every single one of them! The main points are the same for everyone…get to know them, respect them, and treat them right. More guys need to focus on these things.

  41. Basic things that everyone ought to keep in mind. Good article! Of course, the most important thing is to get to know her; one size does not fit all. For example, some geek girls love competing over video games; some do not have a thing for flowers and knick-knacks, and so on.

  42. As much as I don’t really like listening to dating advice, this is pretty down-to-earth. I hate it when you see things pertaining to dating tips and it’s written by some pig-headed ape of a man who thinks attracting the opposite sex means laying emotional traps. Aside from that outburst, this is pretty useful information. Interests and communication is key in a relationship. Just recently this has be reaffirmed in my life, so this article really hit close to home ^_^

  43. A great article!

    And might I add, that not all girls who are Prom Queens are automatically qualified as Geeks. There are some of us who are in-between…and some of us who are on a different plane altogether. I appreciate both ends of the spectrum.

    As long as a chick has confidence and believes in herself, who needs to label her!?

  44. Thank you for this article. I found it to be really interesting. Truth be told, I’m a geek as well and I am alright with that. The trouble I have is not necessarily how to talk to a geek girl when I do find one, but rather finding one in the first place. You guys are a fairly rare breed indeed it would seem. Not as bad as it used to be though. The lessons you have here stand for most girls it seems like though, pay attention to what they like and try new things. Being condescending never ever helps

  45. Good common sense information that a lot of people for some reason dont know. Geeky girls are awsome but it always comes down to people having an affinity with each other to make things really work. And when that affinity is there things will just fall into place and if its not there dont try to force it.

  46. Very good article on dating =D I think yoyu dide a good job with this because you got into detail for guys on how to impress a GEEKY girl rather than just trying to impress those catty girls out there.

    Whether or not I fit into the geek genre is unknown because I do not have a life ._.

  47. My ex-boyfriend would always tell me what to do whenever we were playing a video game and it drove me nuts! I’m not an idiot!! I can find a way to beat the game without his help! I so totally loved your article!

  48. Great advice for anyone looking for a lasting relationship. You don’t have to have everything in common but some things are best. That way you have room for new interests. But the best advice of all is to just be yourself…

  49. I agree on the whole no helping with games thing!! Nothing pisses me off more.

    Also, Interests are very important. If he doesn’t have the internet its kinda cute, you know like a charity case or something. Or maybe he’s never played d&d, like maybe he grew up in the wrong neighborhood for it. But If a guy hasn’t seen Lord of the rings, don’t even bother! I could never relate to him on any real level.

  50. As a gamer girl myself, I found I could relate a lot to this article. It was informative, as well as being fun to read. I especially enjoy the point you made about not helping girls with games unless they ask, because that is one of my pet peeves as well. Nice to see someone getting the message out.

  51. While I don’t pursue the ladies (I prefer gents), I believe a number of my friends may find this article . . . enlightening. And I certainly found it interesting. Some of the principles involved apply to the sorta fella I’m interested in.

  52. This was a really pleasant, and informative guide to read. I’ve meta handful of girls who this guide would be perfect for, need to brush up on my relationship skills hehe. Really well written, insightful and something that will pop into the back of my mind the next time I pick up a geeky girl, which in my opinion, are the most fun to be in a relationship with.

  53. Normally, you’ll see a generic article about how a guy should approach a stereotypical girl, but this beats them all down with uniqueness! It really explains exactly how geeky girls think and how we want be approached. I also love how you incorporate all of the things we might like (Star Wars, Pokemon, etc.) so that any male readers out there can keep their eyes open. This is brilliant!

  54. Amber… You go girl! I think this was a great theme for the how to’s. And let face it ,geeks or not , Lord knows that the guys really do need some type of handbook on the dating game. Your article was well written straight talk! Kudos!

  55. You’ve written a very cute guide here! From personnal experience (being the semi-geeky oddball I am), I’ve seen guys approach me and other girls the completely wrong way. What they don’t realise is that we’re not ALL about our favorite Tv show or video game- we’re not just another one of their buddies but with benefits.

    The only downside is that I wish there was more! There’s so much more to befriending and having a relationship with a nerdy gal , but I guess this is a good concise starter guide. Good work!

  56. Speaking as a half-assed geek, this article doesn’t just apply to the full-blown geek girls, but the non-geeks as well.

    Thanks for posting this, Amber. A lot of people should find this more than helpful. 🙂

  57. Ah, US youth, what a strange world. Sure, geeks beat airheads, but both should try getting out more.

  58. LOL. I guess that makes sense. Really useful, and points out some important things about how to treat a woman. Nice work. *Thumbs up!*

    (Sorry I’m a bit late, been busy lately. =P)

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