Well, we’ve officially put our wedding registry online at Amazon. Ponzi picked everything, as most of it is what she knows we need. I can’t believe we’ve lived this long without a covered cake pan. Hell, I didn’t even know they made covered cake pans! Oddly enough, she didn’t select any bedding, bath, or decor items. Guess that means we’re going to be living out of our kitchen. I hear Calphalon is quite comfortable, actually.

Setting up a home means different things to different people. Are you homebodies who love to curl up on the couch with a Hepburn and Stewart classic? Or are you always on the go, heading off to soccer practice or serving up a round of badminton in your backyard? Or maybe you can’t wait to mix up cocktails in your swank newlywed pad. From electronics to sports gear to barware, your registry should be all about who you are as a couple, how you like to spend your free time, and what your passions are.

Yeah, but I already have a copy of Joe Dirt on DVD…

This may get fixed at some point in the near future, but… I’ve been without my profile on YouTube for at least the past week. I can still access my account, change settings, upload videos, etc. - but nobody can see my profile. It’s not there. Nothing. Zilch. Zero. Zip. I sent a note off to YouTube support and they dismissed it with a FAQing reply. How else is someone going to know that I have videos of my dog sleeping under Ponzi’s chair? Oh YouTube, why hast thou forsaken me?

I don’t mind that YouTube is full of crap - I just want my crap to be as easily accessible as everybody else’s crap. Is that too much to ask for? Where did my profile go?!

For some reason or another, choosy users choose bLaugh. At least, that’s what the readers and staff of BusinessWeek Online report. We just received a “Best of the Web” award in the Humor category. I’d still like to see bLaugh pushed out and shared on more Web sites, portals, and print media. Who else won?

• The Onion
• The Joy of Tech
• Rocketboom
• gapingvoid
• Go Fug Yourself* (tied)
• Ze Frank* (tied)

I suppose this means they want us to do a parody of their brand. “BusinessWeak” sounds kinda funny, especially if we do a mock cover? Until then, I guess today’s bLaugh will have to do…

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I’m not a professional music critic - and don’t pretend to be. However, I’ve gotta tell you that “Straight Outta Lynwood” [SOL] is one of the best albums that “Weird Al” Yankovic has produced to date. Yes, I’m biased - having been a fan of the band ever since the seventh grade. His originals finally, in many ways, outshine his parodies. SOL nails the melodies and harmonies, as expected.

SOL is a bargain at $15: “DualDisc includes PCM Stereo, 5.1 Surround and instrumental mixes of the entire album (with on-screen lyrics option), plus a 9-minute behind-the-scenes documentary and 6 brand new music videos.” I bet you wish your favorite artists did this, too. If there’s anything that’s going to keep physical media alive, it’s jam-packing titles with every bonus imaginable. A few weeks ago, Al unleashed the half-sactioned “You’re Pitiful” online. It isn’t included on the album, though the original artist gave Al permission to do so:

Yankovic recorded the song to be included on his Straight Outta Lynwood album after, according to Yankovic, having been given the James Blunt’s blessing to parody the song. However, following its recording, the artist’s record company, Atlantic Records, allegedly told Yankovic that he could not include the song.

Even after having publicly stated that the band doesn’t make much money from digital purchases (through iTunes or otherwise), Yankovic still treats his fans fairly - he knows that we’ll all buy whatever he creates. In fact, I’ve been known to buy his albums for friends - just because I think that as a serious and smart musician, “Weird Al” is underrated. His musical genius is fully exercised in a few SOL tracks - which won’t leave you SOL.

1. White and Nerdy: Computer geeks should love these lyrics twice as much as they did “It’s All About the Pentiums” - with references to Wikipedia and MySpace included. Even if you don’t like “rap,” you’re going to love these lyrics. And honestly, which one of us isn’t white and nerdy?! I think I have a new personal theme song. Great way to start the album. Even Ponzi LOL’ed a few times when she first heard it. Five stars.
2. Pancreas: Out of all the songs on SOL, this one is probably my favorite. It begins a capella, flowing and weaving in a classic “Beach Boys” sound. I’m not sure I’d consider this a complete style parody, though I wouldn’t have been surprised to hear something similar on a TMBG album - which is probably why I love this track so much. If you don’t find yourself strangely attracted to the final refrains, there’s something seriously wrong with you. “Insulin, Glucagon, Coming from the islets of Langerhans.” I can’t get it out of my head. Er, pancreas - if you will. Five stars.
3. Canadian Idiot: For the second parody on SOL, we have a parody of Green Day’s “American Idiot.” Much like in “Lasagna” and “Pretty Fly for a Rabbi,” Al is finding gold in stereotypes. It’s a fun song, though I must admit that I find myself enjoying the R&B parodies more than punk/rock music these days. Still, I’m not anxious to skip to the next track - if only because the original song is catchy to begin with. If you don’t know anything about Canadian culture, you probably won’t be impressed by this tune (but I bet your Canadian friends will be). Four stars.
4. I’ll Sue Ya: Speaking to the trend of crazy lawsuits appearing in the headlines every other week, Al gives us a “Kid Rock” style emulation - littered with popular brand names and outlandish experiences with them. I’ve never been attracted to “angsty” music, but this beat is to my liking (far more than an earlier “Young, Dumb, and Ugly”). If there’s a low point on the album, I’d say this is it - unless you happen to be a fan of the genre. Despite my indifference, I don’t consider it to be a “skip track.” I wholly expect these lyrics to show up in a future email joke thread - and please don’t take that as a suggestion. Three stars.
5. Polkarama!: I look forward to the polkas on every album, always believing they’re not long enough. This accordion-heavy montage does not disappoint. While I couldn’t necessarily name every polkafied artist strewn throughout, I was definitely familiar with every lifted lyric. I think his combination and range of styles (R&B, Rock, Alternative) speaks to Yankovic’s continued range expansion and broad appeal. If you’re not into a wide range of pop music, you might not appreciate Polkarama! half as much. It’s not my favorite polka (as I appreciate his classics more than the newer ones). However, it’ll certainly satiate my polkanerve until the next one bounces in. Four stars.
6. Virus Alert: Another Yankovic classic has been born - very upbeat, very addictive, original, and extremely replayable. If I played this tune back-to-back with “Hardware Store,” it’d make for a smart mix. Al’s falsetto feels natural and really fits inside this composition - with the lyrics being equally as amazing as the music itself. I find myself hitting the rewind button for this one - and not just because it’s about technology. I’m blown away by the song’s entire structure, particularly during “If you even get infected. turn off your computer, and make sure it powers down..” Can’t help but sing along. Too much fun. Five stars.
7. Confessions Part III: You might remember Confessions part I & II, so this is. what you’d never expect from a third one. Usher probably should have stopped with one, but I’m glad that Al made it a soul-bearing hat trick. The original song was ripe for satire - strong enough to support a parody. We’ve all been in love, and we’ve all done wacky (read: inexplicable) things in those relationships. Of course, I don’t know if any of you like to dress up like Shirley Temple and beat yourselves with a hockey stick - but you should enjoy the open confessional nonetheless. Four stars.
8. Weasel Stomping Day: Oh. My. God. This is Dr. Seuss in Bizzaro World! Close your eyes and try to imagine this one, folks. Not sure why Al references mayonnaise for the second time on the same album, but. that’s not the point. What sound does a weasel make when it’s stomped? There’s no safer way of finding out, I can assure you. The song is festive, but leaves the listener with a gigantic question: just exactly when is Weasel Stomping Day? I’d personally like to nominate July 27th if it hasn’t already been suggested. Let’s all celebrate! Five stars.
9. Close But No Cigar: Another Yankovic original - and likely his best non-parody relationship-centric song to date. “And I loved her even more than Marlon Brando loved souffl‚.” “And I was crazy like Manson about her…” “She got me all choked up like Mama Cass.” - Dennis Miller would be proud. The music, in and of itself, has an addictive pop quality to it. Then again, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. I really like it, but I don’t think I love it. Four stars.
10. Do I Creep You Out: I make it a point to watch the first few episodes of every American Idol season. Taylor Hicks kinda looks like Jeff Barr to me, though. I enjoy a good ballad every once in a while, so this serves my ears well. It’s over in less than three minutes, which is fine by me. My guess is that this track served as a substitute for the Blunt parody, though. I wanna lip sync this at my wedding reception - if only for shock value. Four stars.
11. Trapped in the Drive-Thru: You can always count on one extended track on a Weird Al album. This time, it was a pointed parody of a pointless R. Kelly rambling. In many ways, Yankovic did a better job with it! I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that some of these lyrics were based on actual events in Al’s life. I can tell you that Ponzi and I had the “Olive Garden” argument recently. Art imitates life. Although, Ponzi sold my bunny slippers on eBay last week. Five stars.
12. Don’t Download This Song: Yes, it’s what you think. Imagine if “We Are The World” was dedicated to the plight of the millionaire musician. The anthem is long overdue. You might have seen the video when it was uploaded to the Internet a few weeks ago. Aptly, you couldn’t easily download the encoded video. Listen to the very end - he screams “Ya cheap bastard!” Heh. The physical media was quite affordable, actually - filled to the edge with value. Four stars.
13. You’re Pitiful (Unreleased): He starts singing early, but that flub wasn’t edited out before the song was released and distributed to fans (in an unofficial capacity, as mentioned earlier). It’s too bad Atlantic had a stick up their ass about not including this in SOL, because it would have fit in well. Since I don’t listen to much popular music these days, I wasn’t tired of the “You’re Beautiful” sound by the time I heard this track. Xbox geeks will love the Halo 2 reference, but I still crack up every time I hear “farty pants.” Five stars.

Ponzi listens to artists like Chamillionaire, R. Kelly, and Usher all the time - so hip hop music regularly flows through our halls at home. It’s because of this that I find SOL so interesting and fun. Had my tastes not been influenced by my fiance’s choice of music, I don’t know how I’d feel about the album.

The included videos are somewhat fun; “Weasel Stomping Day” (Robot Chicken) and “Close But No Cigar” (Kricfalusi!) really hit it out of the park. I’m disappointed that “White and Nerdy” didn’t make the DualDisc, though - I was hoping to watch a higher quality version of it. If the visual extras don’t win you over, then perhaps the instrumental tracks and 5.1 surround sound recordings will. SOL is an absolute bargain at $15.

Perhaps other artists should start copying Al - filling their physical albums to the brim with value. Wouldn’t that be a hoot?

I’ve been labeled a nitipicker for seeing skipped details that few others seem to see on the surface of an application’s user interface. Guilty as charged! Download this simple registry patch, but please read this entire post before applying it?

I’m not happy that Microsoft has added yet another shell font to the mix with Windows Vista: Segoe UI. On its own, Segoe UI is an awesome font - but when it’s slapped up against Tahoma, MS Sans Serif, Microsoft Sans Serif, and/or Arial - it’s no longer a clean user experience. In fact, Vista is downright messy when it comes to shell fonts - with some aliased faces reaching back to the days of Windows 3.11!

These blatant font oversights were shoved onto the backburner for the sake of (a) 100% backwards compatibility and (b) time. However, that didn’t stop me from diving into REGEDIT and setting things straight. The good news? I believe I’ve figured out how to make everything inside of Windows Vista stick to Segoe UI. It’s a subtle, yet radical, transformation.

There are benefits and drawbacks that come with my font tweaks. The biggest benefit is that most (if not all) of your application fonts will finally be in the same font family. The drawbacks happen to be a matter of perspective.

Text in size-restricted config dialogs may appear tight or truncated, but you will never see Arial, Times New Roman, Microsoft Sans Serif, MS Serif, MS Sans Serif, or Tahoma font faces ever again. I can’t imagine this being a tremendous problem for most people - myself included.

I’ve killed most of the aliased fonts that will ship in Windows Vista - there’s virtually no other (or easier) way to do it other than through this registry patch. Software installers finally conform to a single Segoe UI typeset, Google Earth finally looks clean, and .NET apps finally don’t look any different than other apps on the system - and Web sites that call on Arial (like Google.com) look amazing after this tweak, too. I posted a few before and after screen shots to Flickr.

If you bother to look at the .REG file I’ve compiled, you’ll see that the tweaks are relatively straighforward. I’m essentially redirecting font rendering from fonts I don’t want (Arial, Tahoma, MS Sans Serif, etc.) to a font that I do want (Segoe UI). The essential key is in HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE SOFTWARE Microsoft Windows NT CurrentVersion FontSubstitutes.

I’m releasing this tweak in the hope that others will help me refine it. You should set a System Restore point if you’re feeling gunshy. I’ve applied them safely to my own system, and have bug squished and cross-checked compatibility with both Robert McLaws and Brandon LeBlanc. They were both quite helpful and suffered through countless reboots with me. If you find any other tweaks that should be added to the .REG file, let me know and I’ll incorporate them ASAP.

For further optimization, you might also set your icon font to 8pt (it’s 9pt by default). Right-click the desktop, choose Personalize, click the first “Windows Color and Appearance” option, click the “Open classic appearance properties for more color options” link near the bottom, then click the Advanced button on the “Appearance Settings” dialog, select the “Icon” item, then flip the Size field to “8.” Windows Vista: transparently convoluted!

While my font patch is harmless, I’m not responsible for anything that might happen to your system (or life) if you decide to apply it. I’m sure incompatibilities will spring up, but that’s when I’ll really need your troubleshooting assistance.

I’ll certainly be sharing this information with a few key Microsofties, though I do not expect them to officially incorporate my patch into future builds of Windows. If you don’t even care about the fonts on your screen, then why did you bother to read this far - and what have you got to lose by applying my patch? I simply couldn’t recommend running Windows Vista without it.

Moreover, to all the people who slapped me around for complaining about Vista’s font mayhem: at least I did something about it instead of rolling over and pretending we were past the point of no return. Feh. If only I could fix other visual hiccups - like Vista’s Task Manager, which has 16-color icons and doesn’t ToolTip truncated fields. Maybe SpeedUpMyPC will fix it eventually?

That’s it! Wicket and Pixie are officially online, though I wouldn’t expect to hear much from them. They each have separate Dogster profiles: Puppy 1 and Puppy 2. I was prompted to set ‘em up after Ted Rheingold (himself) commented on a recent photo of Wicket. I don’t know what to say, so I’ll let Wicket speak for himself:

Arf woof, woof woof bark woof. Growl, growl, arf arf arf woof bark woof. Woof! Woof bark woof woof woof bark woof woof. Arf, arf! Warf! Ar-ar-ar-ar-ar-woo-woo! Graw, woof woof woof woof woof. Arf, woof woof arf arf woof woof woof. Grow-wow-wow, woof woof woof arf bark bark bark bark FARK bark woof woof woof arf arf, arf arf arf arf arf. Woof! Woof! Woof! Bark bark bark bark bark bark woof woof woof arf woof bark bark woof arf - arf arf arf, bark woof.

Please, no sudden movements or he’ll run away and pee on the rug. Oh jeez, now Pixie wants to say something, too:

…

Yeah - she’s a bit shy. Are you going to say anything, Pixie? I thought you wanted to say something. Now’s the time, because I’m in the middle of editing the post. Fine, but don’t say I didn’t at least give you the opportunity.

• Last week, Pope Benedict XVI quoted a Byzantine emperor who characterized the Prophet Muhammad as “evil and inhuman.” In protest, several Muslims set fire to five churches in Palestine. I’m not sure whether to laugh or to cry.
• Who coined the “Islamic fascist” label? It’s manipulating language to further fan the flames of hatred and fear. Why not simply call them “facsists” - or stick with “terrorists?” I don’t remember abortion clinic bombers being called “Christian fascists,” do you?
• Why is Clinton so upset over this weekend’s Fox News interview? Was he forced to do it by gunpoint? Did he have the option to screen the questions? Were they fair questions to ask? Is there such a thing as a fair question?
• Why won’t Nancy Grace shut up about the Duckett case already?! She needs to wake up and realize that she’s not in a court of law, but a television studio.
• Why am I hearing a lot of “they want to kill your family” talk from the American media? I wonder if that’s what we’re being accused of on the other side of the fence. The problem is: I don’t want to kill anybody, anywhere.
• Why do I keep hearing the “N” word in popular music?! If they’re going to say it, people (of all races) are going to repeat it - and that’s not something I’m terribly comfortable with, if only because I’m white and nerdy. It’s one piece of pop culture that I wish would just go away.
• Why do people still vote along party lines? Isn’t that like buying a certain brand, even though that brand has started to diminish in quality over the years - based on it being “the brand?”

Not sure how it happened, but I ran into The Holy Grail of Synchronization - how to synchronize Microsoft Outlook (multiple locations), Google Calendar, Gmail, iPod, and mobile phone with Funambol, ScheduleWorld. I took the time to dig deeper, largely because I’ve been wanting to sync Outlook with Google (and Google with iCal) for a while now - and I’m still using Outlook 2000, which keeps certain syncing tools out of reach.

Standards to the rescue! Engtech, as described, pointed me to ScheduleWorld: “An experiment in a new kind of rich Internet application, built on the foundations of open standards that enables you to access your data from virtually anywhere using a growing number of interoperable devices and software.” Yes, it’s absolutely free - and absolutely 100x more useful than you may realize:

• Sync between countless devices, platforms (iPod included!)
• Simple and fast Calendaring, Scheduling, Tasks, Notes
• Global address book (LDAP!)
• Java Micro Edition (JME/J2ME) Client for mobile phones

Whoa. As recommended, I downloaded the Outlook SyncML client (which runs independently). Took a small bit of troubleshooting to get going, but the problems were remote - and cleared up quickly by Mark Swanson (ScheduleWorld mixmaster). In no time at all, I was able to do what I’ve always wanted to do - sync calendars, tasks, and notes through simple software, as well as have a network-accessible address book. Dude, ScheduleWorld is absolutely amazing - and free.

Stumbled into this “gift” accidentally while assembling a total Yankovic playlist this afternoon. You can hear :30 teasers for each Straight Outta Lynwood track, so long as you have URGE and WMP11 installed (Windows only). No account necessary. MTV must’ve added his new album at some point in the past day. Do an Artist search for Yankovic (in URGE) and you should see SOL top the list. Select the album tracks as well as another track from another album (like Couch Potato from Poodle Hat), then right-click the non-SOL track and select “Play” from the context menu. This should tide you over until Tuesday morning - which is when you’ll buy the full album:

Featuring parodies of Chamillionaire, Green Day, Usher, R. Kelly and Taylor Hicks! DualDisc includes PCM Stereo, 5.1 Surround and instrumental mixes of the entire album (with on-screen lyrics option), plus a 9-minute behind-the-scenes documentary and 6 BRAND NEW MUSIC VIDEOS!

If you don’t buy the album, I’m going to rip your heart right out of your rib cage with my bare hands and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it ’til you die - especially if you’re white and nerdy.

I became a Canon PowerShot fan a few years ago - having fallen in love with the G2 and its feature set / form factor. My first pocket camera (ever) was an SD550, though I sold it and moved to the SD700 IS when it became available. I use the SD700 IS way more than I do my S2 IS - though I’m getting ready to sell both of ‘em. Why? The Canon PowerShot SD800 IS is coming:

• The PowerShot SD800 IS features a 7.1-million-pixel CCD sensor. This high-resolution imager ensures every picture will have excellent detail, even when printed large, or cropped.
• Brand new lens design integrates a wide angle zoom (28-105mm equivalent) and image stabilization. This 3.8x wide zoom lens was designed with fewer yet “smarter” optics (dual sided aspherics and UA) to achieve a compact size with wide angle and IS while maintaining impressive image quality. The SD800 IS is the first Digital Elph to feature both of these exciting lens technologies.
• Takes the performance and speed of DIGIC II to even higher levels of processing power including new face detection function, up to 1600 speed ISO, high-ISO noise reduction, lower power consumption, increased speed for SD media cards, and higher resolution image processing for enhanced LCD viewing.

It’s an incremental upgrade from the SD700 IS, which is still an amazing camera. Anybody want it or my S2 IS? :)

The idea of a breadcrumb bar in the Windows Explorer is fantastic - it’s one of my favorite features of Windows Vista. It’s not “killer,” but it’s certainly useful - and it’s also available for Windows XP through the free Explorer Breadcrumbs extension. That’s one less reason to upgrade to Windows Vista when it goes gold in a few weeks. I installed the Vista RC1 refresh yesterday and discovered only incremental improvements. I’m having sushi with Dave Vronray in the near future - where I’ll be able to point out thousands of Vista UI oversights (in person).

Okay, I think I want to lease a 2006 Acura TSX (with a few bells and whistles, like the navigation system and MP3/WMA add-in). My lease with Honda is up in another month, so I have to “scramble” to get my next car lined up before then. There have been fantastic suggestions in my Acura vs. Lexus post, including links to no-dicker resources and/or the idea of getting a car sponsored by any given dealership. I’m wondering if I should reverse engineer this entire car leasing process? Who wants to give me an offer I simply can’t refuse? I’m throwing my business out there - who wants it?