According to the test sheet that just came from my HP LaserJet 1220, my page counts are as follows:

• Total Pages Printed = 9477
• Pages Jammed in Printer = 4
• Pages Mispicked in Printer = 8
• Total Pages Scanned = 1559
• Pages Jammed in Scanner = 1
• Pages Scanned to Copy = 361
• Pages Printed From Copy = 375
• Pages Scanned to Host = 1183

Take a look at our About page (like I tried prompting you to do the other day). Read the whole thing. Okay, well - you don’t have to read the whole thing now, as the prize has officially been given to Dave Anderson. Scroll all the way to the bottom of the page. “Did I really read to the end of this page? Yes, and the first person to email me to say they’ve done so will get $100 deposited into their PayPal account - Seriously.” So, Dave’s getting the $100. It was that easy. I wonder if we have any more of these kinds of monetary easter eggs hidden throughout the site? Congratulations, Dave - and thanks for reading more about Gada.be. It really pays to be knowledgeable.

Ask.com and Bloglines are upping the ante on blog search with their newly revamped Blog & Feed Search launching on May 31, 2006. While we’ve seen plenty of blog and feed search solutions like Technorati, Ice Rocket, Google’s Blog Search, etc, they all suffer from a similar problem: blog spam. If you search on any topic, there’s invariably more junk than real content because it’s simply too easy to game the system at this point. Ask is taking a different approach by using a vetted collection of feeds to build their result set: Bloglines subscriptions. To appear in the results, at least one Bloglines subscriber needs to be subscribed to a feed. From there, the Ask search algorithm takes over to deliver results based on authority, which theoretically pushes spam blogs to the bottom of the heap. In addition to adding a new mechanism for calculating blog search results, Ask has added several features, like the binoculars found in standard Ask results and an option to subscribe to both feeds and results sets in a number of popular feed readers. Chris talks with both Robyn DeuPree, Bloglines Senior Product Manager, and Doug Leeds, Ask.com VP of Product Management, about the new search, how it works and what makes it different from anything else out there.

I did it; My weight loss goal has officially been met as of this morning. After a swift 40-minute workout, I stepped on the Tanita scale and weighed in at 145 pounds. Three months ago, I was sitting at a hefty 175lbs. Today, I’m 145lbs - a full 30lbs lighter. I’m so incredibly satisifed with the results, knowing that I’ll likely stabilize in the 140 - 145 range. It certainly took tremendous dedication on my part - but now that I’m in this state, I intend on staying here. My healthier weight will be maintained largely by watching caloric intake, so that even when I’m not able to exercise, I can stay within my body’s daily intake requirements. In some ways, I’m done - my weight loss goal has been achieved. But in many ways, my journey has only begun. It will take a conscious effort not to let myself slip back to where I’m not happy. Thank you, Fatblasters - thank you.

As Dave mentioned the other day, I’m leading a discussion on the power of users at BloggerCon IV. Take a look at my recent string of Windows Vista and Office 2007 posts. Try to look past the “Chris is really ripping apart Microsoft’s flagship products” angle, focusing instead on the “Chris is really a passionate user” position. This is the foundation of our impending BloggerCon discussion. As a blogger, you have tremendous opportunities to tell developers what you need, what you expect, and what you want. You are the user - power or casual. If you don’t stand up for yourself, nobody’s going to do it for you. And contrary to popular belief, developers aren’t gods - and neither are users. If this is a real ecosystem, we need balance where none currently exists. Problem is, as users, we have to deal with the developers - who don’t always see the world from a user’s perspective. I’m not suggesting a revolution - I’m merely asking for other passionate users to start speaking up for the things they care about. I want to know if I’m the only user out there who isn’t afraid to say something (right or wrong) about the applications I work with (good or bad).

I love to say it: I told you so. Many moons ago, I exclaimed that “Web 2.0″ was nothing more than a conference. Today, I’ve been proven right to a fault. It was just a matter of time before this came and bit all the “Web 2.0″ evangelists in the ass. Not Web 2.0 evangelists for O’Reilly’s conference, but “Web 2.0″ evangelists for the ethereal movement (which I have oft referred to as a renaissance).

As has been stated by both Dave Winer and Jason Calacanis, Tim and his partners were 110% justified in protecting their conference brand. Anybody and everybody who holds a trademark on something profitiable (or, as is the case for O’Reilly, ungodly profitable) understands and supports the decision that was made - not necessarily in how it was handled, but certainly the reasoning behind it. I respect Tim’s personal and professional position in the matter, having a few not-quite-as-profitable brands of my own to protect. Anybody who’s ever owned a trademark [read: profitable brand] should wholly understand. That’s the kicker, underscored by Dave’s editorial: O’Reilly is NOT a non-profit organization.

I highly doubt that anybody’s ever going to take the word “Gnomedex” and use it for their own conference (it’s just not generic enough a term). However, if someone came along and used that title for their own conference, for-profit or non-profit, I would likely want to be involved at some level - because that’s a brand that Lockergnome has fostered for six years running. We don’t have a team of lawyers, and we’ve yet to strike a deal with any major conference organizers, but the onus is on us to protect that which is so closely associated to our revenue model(s).

If you read your history books, you’ll see that Tim O’Reilly spoke at Gnomedex III (the terms “blog” and “RSS” were just starting to creep into popular conscousness). We’ve exchanged a few emails since then, including around a false rumor I propogated and subsquently (publicly and privately) apologized for. I don’t think I would have handled this situation any differently than he did.

And if you still believe that “Web 2.0″ (the ethereal movement) is all about openness and interconnectivity, you’ve got yet another thing coming. Your favorite “Web 2.0″ (the ethereal movement) applications are still walled gardens - to the nth degree. Web 2.0, the conference, belongs to O’Reilly and CMP. Web 2.0, the ethereal movement, doesn’t exist. How O’Reilly / CMP chooses to define and protect their conference is completely up to them - and the blogosphere’s interpretation of what’s happening inside this ethereal movement should not be confused with the conference which O’Reilly is producing.

The first time I saw DDR in the arcade, I thought to myself: “Oh, now there’s a game I’ll never play.” I’m not much of a dancer, even in slower tempos (just ask Ponzi). Sure, I know where to find rhythm - it’s under the word “rhythm” in Google! Seriously, I couldn’t even get the jump timings on Donkey Kong right - what makes you think I could do some Dance-Dance Revolution thing with my real feet? Well, Ponzi wanted a DDR mat - so we got ourselves a DDR mat (with accompanying DDR Ultramix game for the classic Xbox). Even if I laid it out in front of the television for the next year, we’d still not use it as much as we’re not using it today. Anybody want a hardly-used Dance-Dance Revolution embarassment blanket? Seriously, I don’t want to hold onto my failed attempt at coordination any longer. I can’t dance. I can’t sing. I don’t want DDR in my home any longer. Please, take this thing away?

At WinHEC, I was informed that the Ribbon bar in Office 2007 won’t be easy to customize. I couldn’t believe my ears! If this rumor is true, we’ll need to remember this tutorial. Microsoft may be telling us that we need to learn how to program in order to do something that Office used to be able to do for us automatically (or wait for a developer to help us). As of Office 2007 Beta 2, this seems to be the case. Setting aside the astounding mistake of using the word “many” instead of “all” in this first quoted sentence, we’re staring down the barrel of a application usability paradigm:

Many of the applications in the 2007 Microsoft Office system have a new look. The Ribbon user interface (UI) feature replaces the current system of layered menus, toolbars, and task panes with a simpler system of interfaces optimized for efficiency and discoverability. The new UI has improved context menus, ScreenTips, a Mini toolbar, and keyboard shortcuts that improve user efficiency and productivity. […] You can customize the Ribbon UI through a combination of XML markup and any Microsoft .NET–based language supported in Microsoft Visual Studio. You can also customize the Ribbon UI using Microsoft Visual Basic for Applications (VBA), Microsoft Visual C++, and Microsoft Visual Basic 6.0.

They’ve already uploaded a few Office 2007 screencasts, too. I’m sure developers are in hog heaven - but the potential decision of eliminating simple Ribbon customizability leaves we mortal users left to fend for ourselves once again. At least the rest of Microsoft at least allows us to turn on “legacy” menus. Is the Office division really this arrogant? This is borderline unacceptable - but I’m reserving final judgement for Office 2007 RTM.

I can’t remember how I discovered this one today (could’ve been a random Gada.be search). Regardless, this software is simply amazing - and cross-platform, to boot. It’s the best desktop “night sky” client in the galaxy - and in my opinion, beats the pants off of Starry Night:

Stellarium is a free open source planetarium for your computer. It shows a realistic sky in 3D, just like what you see with the naked eye, binoculars or a telescope. It is being used in planetarium projectors. Just set your coordinates and go.

Ponzi and I went to a plane…arium a couple of months ago. Even it wasn’t half as nice as Stellarium. This is exactly what I’ve always wanted - and it’s open source software!!! I can’t wait to try this on my laptop outside. The illustrations of the constellations are priceless. I dare you to find a better night sky viewer for any platform. I double-dog dare you!

Don’t ask me why we didn’t do the redesign before announcing Gnomedex, but it’s better late than never! I’m pretty happy with the way it turned out. We may just keep the same layout indefinitely (but swap out the header graphics). If you notice any bugs, just consider this new theme “under construction.” I know people are already asking about next year’s Gnomedex, but let’s get through this one first. We still have a few more sponsors to announce, as well as a few more speakers. Of course, you can expect more surprises at the event itself.

Wicket’s a lapdog. Even if he wasn’t a lapdog, he’d find a way to become a lapdog. He doesn’t care what kind of lap you’ve got, he’ll use it freely. That’s what our doggies do (as opposed to doggie doo). Lapdogs like eat, drink, watch TV, or type. This is what “Mommy” is doing this afternoon: eBaying some very expensive, stylish purses (more on that story when they’re posted and ready for auction bids). Maybe we should be looking on eBay for new laps? This dog has worn ours out. Pixie loves laps, too - but not as much as Wicket. Maybe we just need to buy purses on eBay and carry our dogs around in them? Certainly, not in the purses that Mommy is about to auction off - they’re too valuable. So are our dogs, though. Maybe our dogs need their own purses? Pixie with a purse, Wicket with a… man purse? Man bag? Satchel? Is it really stylish for guys to carry purses now? What about dogs?

I needed to do this sooner or later, so I’ve revamped our About page with the following sections, outlining Gada.be cases for eight types of users: Enthusiast, Mobile, Developer, Business, Casual, Researcher, Jobseeker, and Shopper. I’d consider this a comprehensive list, but I’m sure there are a few usage points and user types I missed. The About page also now includes an extensive list of Gada.be’s resounding credibility in the blogosphere. The reasons for pointing out our supportive features will become evident to you in the Gnomedex timeframe. Do you have a usage case for Gada.be?

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One of the many headaches associated with Windows XP is network configuration. Despite seemingly friendly dialog boxes, networking in Windows XP just doesn’t plug-and-play, especially if you’re faced with interfacing between multiple wired or wireless networks on a daily basis. Windows Vista is already demonstrating potential for solving many of the networking woes, with better presentation of information and auto-detection features designed to remove some of the guesswork. To get a better feel for what we can expect from the Windows Vista networking experience, Chris recently chatted with a PM from the networking team about what’s currently in the Vista beta, what improvements are under the hood and what we might expect to see happen with networking before Vista ships at the end of 2006 and beginning of 2007.

Ponzi’s selling some purses on eBay (though not as many purses as she originally promised she’d be selling). They’re made by some hobo named Isabella Fiore. Can’t be too much of a hobo at these prices! Well, she’s actually starting each auction at much lower than any retail outlet:

• Designer: Isabella Fiore’s Garden of Weavin’ black hobo
• Designer: Isabella Fiore’s Summer of Love Angelina Hobo
• Designer: Isabella Fiore’s Stripe a Pose - Kelsey Bag
• Designer: Isabella Fiore’s Stud Muffin

Who knows if they’ll sell. I just can’t imagine anybody wanting to buy purses anywhere, let alone eBay. I’m sure there are purse addicts just champing at the bit to get to her Isabella Fiore Handbag auctions. She’s only selling four of them right now, and I’ll do what I can to convince her to sell the other 8,192 purses she’s decided to keep for herself.

I was going through my spam folder, and this headline caught my eye. I was then compelled to draw it on my Wacom tablet (which doesn’t get much use around here). Consider this my homage to Spamusement.com. “Satan is a Dork” inspired this pencil sketch:

I have no idea if the Devil really is a dork, but if he was a dork - this is probably what he’d look like. I hope I don’t offend any devil worshipers out there by doing this. The devil-worshipping demographic is highly prized, after all. Have you hugged your devil worshipper today? I wouldn’t recommend doing so, anyway. Here’s to hoping I never get inspired by any other spam subject line. I won’t quit my day job, and I promise not to doodle anything else again without first getting my mother’s permission. She’s a devil worshipper, ya know?