2003 June

You've seen my evil, now it's time for you to hear it! Loyd (a lurker) e-mailed me earlier this afternoon with a link to Dane. With their help, I've weaved the AT&T Natural Voices form into every blog entry, past and present. Just press the button that precedes each paragraph and you'll be in pitch-perfect paradise. This “feature” will only be available on the Web site for now, not in the RSS feed. Perhaps an enterprising JavaScript coder will come up with a way to automatically randomize the voice types on load (crystal, mike, rich, rosa, klara, reiner, alain, juliette, charles, and audrey).

Read more on Speak No Evil…

Robert “convinced” me to install the MSN Messenger 6.0 Preview a few minutes ago. My initial impressions are positive, but they've got a long way to go before I'd consider this a complete product. For one, images aren't smartly resized if they don't conform to the conventional dimensions. This is likely something that'll slip through the cracks before final code is cut, and ultimately keep it from being a “must-get” upgrade. The banner ad is still annoying, and I don't need to be reminded about not sharing credit card information and passwords every day of my life. That's what blogs are for: 1983 2398 2909 0965 and uspoz84qaw. I just haXX0r3d my wife's new Web site with 'em. Leave your IM handle, Social Security Number, and blood type after the beep. *whirrrrr* *click*

Read more on Beta Breakers…

Nobody can beat my mad Tetris skillz; I dare you to take me on, punk. This evening, I conquered the classic game in marathon mode (level 15). I purchased a second cartridge just so that I could challenge Gretchen head-to-head, and even she's finding it extremely difficult to defeat me. Maybe we Bay Area Bloggers will get together and have a tournament soon? Better yet, bring your GBA to Gnomedex and I'll personally kick your block-droppin' ass in July. I love playing puzzle games, and I figured it's been a while since I picked a fight. What's the matter? Is your mommy too scared to let you come to Iowa? Waaaaaaah…

Read more on Tetrisized…

DivisibleHail. VixenishCardinal. LuckierCrayfish. VegetiveJarl. SimoniacSnow. BeigePompano. InebriateChief. GermfreeBeast. InquiringAxis. DarnedBridge. MaternityCosine. VenerableAlarm. WillowierGnome. ResistingOmnivore. UnbredFlunky. UnswathedCroissant. ShruggedBurrito. FraternalSalmon. RunicFungus. LeeryWashington. ReportedTable. TheologicGecko. MissedArmadillo. BouffantMammal. UntidiestMoth. VicarialWings.

Why do all my socks have unnatural holes in them? Has my big toe been trying to liberate itself from within the confines of its cotton prison? He's the Captain of the toes, ya know. It's a conspiracy! I stubbed him two weeks ago, and he's exacting his revenge slowly. My feet have been kind enough to contribute to the 2003 stocking budget; they won't stand for this. Seams to me that the clues are unraveling at a quickened pace. Time heels all wounds, but not fabric – sew I guess I'll have to fall back into The Gap and get replacements.

Read more on Sock It To Me?…

With this, I made this. I'm much less jagged in real life, although some would argue that 'Chris Pirillo' is a truly aliased character. Perhaps I've finally found the reason to get a Tablet PC? Nah, too expensive.

Read more on Fun With Flash…

Don't know which blogging software to use? Need to know about the less-popular alternatives? You could always try before you install, but I'd recommend refering to the Blog Tool Feature Comparison Table. And if you're looking for links in all the wrong places, perhaps you need a little BlogMatcher? And what would a post be without telling you about that guide I created last week; if you've read it and have any additions, let me know and I'll include them in the next revision!

Read more on Cool Blog Tools…

There is now an RSS feed for my Photoblog.

This is what happens when you combine a good cup of coffee with an audio blog. For the love of GOD, make it stop?! Or at least say something worth listening to!

Read more on Oddblogging…

When I speak from a screen, I'm received just as warmly as I would be if I were presenting my ideas in person. Instead of merely talking about how technology is transforming the commerce landscape, I illustrate it live. Web conferencing is easy to do, contrary to what you've been told. You can use free software and any digital video camera to complete the feat. This makes me (pretty much) available to connect with groups / companies anywhere, anytime. Should we book something?

Read more on Live from SF!…

If you wanna see REAL parody, you wanna save Martha Stewart. Even Sprocket agrees with me. If you're going to poke fun of someone's style, at least do it WITH style. And be sure to include a couple of useful links, like a QuickTime Alternative (via Jon).

Read more on It's a Good Thing…

“I am everything. I created newsletters. I made them work. Want some of my spammy newsletters? Former TechTV star. I am cool. The size of my ego wouldn't even fit in Texas. Doncha wish you lived my life? In the Age of Spam, my answer to everything is email newsletters, yes, links to shareware, freeware, thisware, that ware, along with smart comments quips from Super Geek, why I mean me, of course. It is all about branding and my chaotic hyperkinetic personality. Join my Brain Trust and I can tell you how *I* did it, yes, yoooou tooo, can cassssshhhh in on all the Internet Riches out there just waitttting to be found, for onnnnnlllllllyyyyy $97 a month. But waiiiiit thereeeereee's moooree, we'll throw in a cool piece of Pocket PC software that I got from my Microsoft buddies. They like me. I like me. I use a Palm now however. But I am Super Geek. And there was no Bubble. No no no. That's a lie! This shareware product here is cool, that shareware there is too, this freeware thing here rocks me. Hey, I want freebies. I won't review or promo your product unless you give it to me. I am a Marketing Tidal Wave. Doncha know that? You just don't get it, do yah? I am here now, Your Super Geek at work. Come to my Conference. Link Link. Link to this this cool computer magazine I am in, you can subscribe too, pretty please. Link to Gretchen. Amusing private story about Gretchen. I am the real Geek. Supreme Geek of All. Come to my conference. Its everything. All the other Bloggers know this. I am El Geeko Numbero Uno, there is no other. Wanta know my tricks? You too can be a geek like me, just open your wallet, and send all to me. Multi-Level-Geek-Marketing, its a whole new world! I am a Geek, repeat I am a Geek. But Linux sucks. Geek. Geek. My face as branding, only I know how to market, I am the new Marketing Force, check out these sexy hot chic pictures, my wife cuts cabbage to relieve stress, we got a video of it. Want to pay me lots of money for creative weird advertising things I dream up after too much computer monitor radiation? Advertise on my coffee mug. Advertise on my t-shirt. Advertise on my laptop, send your company logo stickers. Want to pay me some money for my photobloglog? You never know who I will run into. Multi-Level-Geek-Social-Software-Spammy-Newsletter Marketing, its a whole new world! Link to Gretchen. Amusing private story about Gretchen. I am the future of Marketing, everyone else just doesn't get it. Only I do.”

Read more on It's So True…

Things not to flash: your mother-in-law, your pastor, your devices with beta firmware. The DVD Talker (Geoff) was on the phone with Sandisk this evening, asking why certain media wasn't being read and written to properly with our reader. They know it's a problem with “third-party” products, and sent him a semi-solid upgrade (which he, in turn, passed along to me). Mid-squeeze, the process halted. I then had a non-functional peripheral plugged into the back of my PC. I drove back to Best Buy to exchange it for a working unit and returned home with that and an extra Tetris cartridge. How did that get in my sack? Bag? Plastic pouch? Regardless, I now have a happy USB mass storage class solution sitting on my desk and a song in my heart. It goes doo-wa ditty ditty dumb…

Read more on Indecent Exposure…

What was I doing away from the Bay? Makin' friends and meetin' old ones. Already in my collection: David and Veronica. New acquisitions: Ken and Craig. Still in the Archies: Betty and Jughead. I'm off to find protective sheets today to keep them in pristine condition. I may wind up trading my storage bin for a Ralph, but only if the price is right. I should know more about that in two weeks. Until then, I may find myself smack dab in the middle of Iowa – preparing for Gnomedex and doing my best to pump up attendance. Will you be there? Will you bring a friend? I promise you a weekend you'll never forget.

Read more on After All…

I brought my stripey red shirt and stocking cap with me – but where am I? Can you guess from my latest photo entries? Stop when you get to the picture of Robert in his Longhorn cap. Let's see… good sushi, dogs in the elevator, a giant twisted tree, and a hallway directly out of Dr. Seuss's wildest dreams. Take a stab at it.

Read more on Where's Waldo?…