Archive January 2003
Power of the Internet
Don Smith writes: “You will be saddened to hear that we lost a devoted Lockergnomie this week. He was my very best friend and a devoted Gnomie and was buried today. His name was Paddy Lawler from Melbourne, Australia. Paddy died of a heart attack. After I got him to sign up he was always [...]
Desktop Linux Summit
In a couple of weeks, I'll be moderating a panel or two at the Desktop Linux Summit. This event has already generated negative press in certain circles. I'm doing it not because of my interest in the Lindows operating system – I haven't used it (personally), and so I can't pass judgement on it. I [...]
Did He Just Say That?!
Okay, all you little Snozberries (and I mean that in the nicest way) – pick up a grammar book and learn the parts of speech. While you're at it, you might think of walking over to the “Mathematics for Dummies” aisle. I highly recommend “Counting Items in a List, Third Revision.” It's a non-stop thrill [...]
Mad Lib + Blog = Blibs!
I need (in this order) a: plural noun, adjective, plural noun, plural noun, verb, same (last) plural noun, and the same (last) verb. As soon as I reach fifty possibilities in this post's comments, I'll fill in the blanks and send my favorite one an autographed copy of my book on E-mail Publishing. Deal? Deal. [...]
This Is Football
The evening had soaked his package with sweat, and it was almost too bulky for one hand to manage. Toto gripped the slightly-mishapen token, pulled it towards his chest, and blasted down the field. A dozen men raced toward him with wreckless abandon. His eyes were on Renaldo, Jorge, Stefan, and Leslie “Boom Boom” Johnson. [...]
Better Than Sex?
I love it when Canadians sing songs about America. It's just so… je ne sais quois… DUMB. And so, I bring you the ten things I'd much rather watch than the Super Bowel: (1) a live birth; (2) a live conception; (3) Dave Winer; (4) Biodome [with Pauly Shore]; (5) mold; (6) pi; (7) the [...]
Game On
Oh. My. God. Cheyenne just tried her hand at face painting, taking the guacamole and smearing it all over her cheeks. I think she thinks its funny – and it is. What's even funnier is that Maryam's brother is actually here trying to watch the game. Ha! Like we're gonna allow THAT to happen. My [...]
The Farty Party Has Started
Okay, we've been joined by Poopty and his favorite pair of legs. Oh, and The Schmuck just ambled through the door. I think someone farted, although I'm not sure if that's just the dip that someone brought. It could be, but I don't know. Most likely, it's the stench eminating from the television. After all, [...]
Super Bowel!
Hey, we're celebrating the Stupid Bowel over here at the Scobleses. I've got my laptop Webcam running, as well as my desktop cam – and Gretchen's as well. We wanna keep an eye on our dog. He's been humping the oddest things lately. So has Robert's Brother. And now, he's sitting next to me. I [...]
Marital Froth
Gretchen is the most abusive first wife I've ever had. She's taking Sprocket for a walk down the block, right? Well, since she hasn't showered yet this morning, she refused to get me a cup of coffee at Peet's (large, with heavy whipping cream). I don't see the big deal. It's Sunday morning – people [...]
Rent My Chest
Last week, I scribbled something in between my nipples. It was fun. Too much fun. So much fun, in fact, that I ran out and registered my own domain name for it. The URL isn't live at the moment, but if you'd like to take a look at the fully-functional site, here's where it's sitting. [...]
That's Incredible!
Every once in a while, our son says something so profound that we have to capture it on video. The problem is: we have no fargin' clue what he said. Bastage! I did my best to chronicle his mutterings (no pun intended), but had an extreme difficulty uncovering their English equivalents. Too bad Google doesn't [...]
You Like What?!
Okay, I'm all for supporting non-profit organizations, but Volunteer Match just lost my vote. I was deeply shocked (and apalled) at what I found down the street from Citizen Cake. “Get Out. Do Good.” Indeed! What the hell was this guy thinking?! And why does this other guy think it's cool to share his appreciation [...]
Insert Title Here
True story: Tantek (who uses HyperCard to publish his blog) spent most of the evening admiring Gretchen's mojito. Which, I have to admit, looked mighty tasty. So lush, so minty, so laden with alcohol. What a drink! Why, had we not passed Stinkbob Juicepants on the street earlier, dinner conversation would have remained somewhat civilized. [...]
This is Not Safari
Hey Applefolk! If there was anything you could ask the Macintosh Internet Explorer development team, what would it be? Are you looking for new features? Better support for X, Y, or Z? Let me know within the hour, because Gretchen and I will have their ear for the better part of this evening. It's nothing [...]
