For those who missed the fun. UPDATE: I hope to also get my celebrity interviews digitized. It'll be a lot less painful than an on-air enema.

Beaming: my face as I walked up the stairs to my apartment last night at 1:30AM. I've never been more proud of my friends, family, and fans. Darn near everyone came out to support our Help-a-thon, which will assuredly go down as one of the (if not THE) most successful programs ever aired on TechTV. Cast and crew were giving 110% throughout the day - from six in the morning all the way to an hour past midnight. It was so fulfilling to look around the set, only minutes after the broadcast concluded. We were there to have fun, to help, and to try something that had only been talked about in years prior. Even in the late hours, the chat room was teeming with hundreds of viewers and the phone bank was full. I could only witness support vicariously, having limited access to anything other than the task at hand - in front of the camera for (pretty much) eighteen hours straight. I want to thank everybody for doing their part - in an official or unofficial capacity. You kept our spirits high, even when our tanks were running on empty. I sit here with so many happy memories dancing in my mind, knowing they'll stay with me for the rest of my life.

There was much merriment in the Gnomestead last night. My only hope is to do Hoopty's camerawork justice in the editing process. Perhaps I should pass the DV tape on to him, and let the Boobiemeister have at it? Nobody saw the cookies that Gretchen baked. She had to use a special 'ugly' formula to get 'em to turn out that geeky. My head tastes good - I had it twice. Nobody was able to capture these acts on film. The best part of the evening was when we Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich. Oh, and when we played Atari. UPDATE: I've finished encoding and uploading the video. It's the Pirillo Christmas Party 2002.

Sprocket's getting shaved, Gretchen's running around town picking up last-minute comestibles, and I'm stuck here in my cubicle waiting for TSS this evening. We'll be promoting the Help-a-thon in “Lightning Round” fashion. Marty and Patrick will be grilling me with twenty tech questions, preparing me for the 18 hours of live hell that will be the day after Christmas. I was planning on getting a blood test this afternoon, but they apparently had us scheduled for 4PM on Saturday (tomorrow). So, right before our party, I'll be pekid and passed out on the sofa. I guess that's kinda normal. I could definitely do without the needles. Regardless, I'll be sure to have my Webcam turned on and pointed to the action once the festivities begin. I suppose that would include the visit from our assigned RN. He's a pro, I hear.

I just met Wil a few hours ago. I know that some people believe he's a nut, but I think he's alright. And yes, let there be no doubt - he's a true geek. I'd like to work with him at some point in the future; you don't find many technophiles who can complete a sentence in front of a camera. Online or off, I appreciate social geekitude. I also appreciate a good cup of coffee. Yes, I know - I tried to quit, but I'm back on the caffwagon. I'll need it on the 26th!

My team was surprised when I discovered a surprise for the Help-a-thon. Duh. They lined up TMBG to do a satellite hit, and (of course) TMBG posted that bit of information in their latest newsletter today: “The Johns with their pal Dr. Sample will be performing live on Tech TV's 'Call-For-Help' Marathon at 9pmEST on TechTV (although times may change).” So much for ducking out early.

If you'd like to see the Call for Help-a-thon promo running on TechTV, tune in to the beginning of each show. It appears that it's the first commercial run on the first commercial break. We filmed it in my real bedroom on Wednesday and it started airing this morning. Those are not my real pajamas, I do not wear a nightcap, and we do not keep a clock or a phone on the nightstand. That is my lamp, however. If someone can capture the commercial and digitize it for me, I would be forever in your debt. Well, at least for the next day or so.

Our stockings were hung by the chimney with care in the hopes that a laundry day soon would be there. With me using Windows and G on the Mac, the household was open to plenty a hack. When what to my wondering eyes should appear than one scary lookin' fat dude in a red jumper suit that was three sizes too small for his body. Yep. Another friggin' system administrator who got lost on his way home from a LAN party. Anyway… where was I? And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little goof. As I drew in my hand to dial 9-1-1, down the chimney this lardass came with a bound. His lights - how they twinkled! His drive bay - how merry! His case was exquisite, much like Halle Berry. The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth would get him kicked out of the state of California because we don't tolerate that kind of crap around here. So chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, and I laughed when I looked - damn near wetting myself. His sack was exploding with presents inside as he readied to drop them sans seasonal pride. With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head he did the Lambada with Sprocket instead. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all our stockings - the real ones, you jerk. And laying his finger aside of his nose, he slipped and went up his left nostril, yo-ho. But I heard him belt out, ere he drove out of sight: 'Gnomie Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.'

Is it unhealthy to really, really, really want a Segway?

G has a wish list on Amazon, but… there's nothing on it that jumps out at me. I'd much rather rely on guided inspiration, but that can only take me so far. I've learned one thing from holidays past - a smattering of stuff gains nothing but dust with her. Two Christmases ago, I purchased a handful of “acting” video tapes for her to review. To this day, most of 'em are still in the wrapper. What I should do is rewrap her yet-used presents. I asked her for a list last week, but she hasn't shown me anything yet. Candy is out; she's got too much of it as is. Jewlery is out. Gift certificates are out. Clothes are out. Books are out. I'm spinning my wheels here.

In an hour or so, I'll hop into a taxi and jet across town to Blowfish. Normally, I wouldn't bother with it - but I'm going with a new-found friend. He knows people over there. Good atmosphere, good music, decent sushi. Tonight's journey shouldn't break the bank, if I understood Eric correctly. I'm chilling in front of channel 44 right now (the local UPN affiliate). Disney's Alice in Wonderland is gracing the screen - with slithy toves. Jesus loves the little children - and Wi-Fi, too. All dead access points go to heaven, ya know.

Oh my god… the dancing bushes have been pushed off of my page! I guess I could stand to share more thoughts with you when I find the time? Like, why won't this rash go away? And who moved my cheese?

My voice is going out, but I don't know why - or where it's headed. Perhaps it's going to kick the tall guy's ass. He sat directly in front of me at the Cirque du Soleil performance of Varekai. From what I could see, I was extremely impressed. Perhaps I should run away and join the cirque? It feels like the right thing to do. Wait, no… it's just gas. Oh crap - I just dropped cream cheese all over my pants. And no, that's not a euphemism for something else. Or maybe it is and I just don't know it? No, another lunch of ham and egg salad. There are so few restaurants over here. I know I should probably pack something like Gretchen does, but I'm not that motivated. Those Lunchables would be great, if only they were fit for human consumption. Or maybe they are and I just don't know it?

It's good to see that TechTVCaps is back online. I missed it. I've been thinking of starting a new forum for people to post 'em on our message boards. Pretty soon, CFH will be getting a Saturday Morning rerun - which is where I believe we belong. In the afternoon, I'm usually too busy to catch the daily re-airing. Then at home, it's on to other wild activities. And what's this I hear about my wife showing off her bazoombas at an upcoming party? I have no idea why that would be happening. Here I thought she got it all out of her (read: off of her) when she did the “artistic” thing in the Des Moines Playhouse production of Hair. Gretchen didn't shave her 'pits for three months to get into character. When she started to burn all the bras in our house, I had to draw the line. How else would I have been able to keep my man-teets warm in the winter? That's dedication, I tell ya. Or something else.

Gretchen and I are headed out to catch a local Cirque du Soleil show, but I wanted to share this earlier B&B post with you: “After months of being on hiatus, we're ressurecting our forums. This time, however, the system is Web-based and FREE registration will be required for those who post messages. Mike has been ironing out the wrinkles, but for the most part, we're ready to roll with a basic set of subjects. In time, it will become more finely tuned, but remember: this is your community, so YOUR involvement will ultimately dictate its direction. Up front, we're looking for feedback, participation, and possibly even a UI overhaul. And I know that we plan on sharing some of the more fruitful threads in the newsletters, so there's a stronger possibility for name and resource recognition if you're an active member. With user profiles, e-mail notification of answered posts, and (eventually) Forum Leaders, this solution should take care of us for a long while. Plus, we can add and remove categories and sub-categories at will - which will make it quite a dynamic destination, depending (again) on how you choose to drive it forward. Help is the name of the game, and our rules are pretty loose. Sit on the sidelines or dive into the action - the stadium is open for business.”