2002 October

I should have spent most of my afternoon in the hospital. It all started when I went to the grocery store to pick up some low-carb bread (which is really tasty, although it doesn't have much of a shelf life). As I was walking down the soup aisle, a can of tomato soup flew off of the shelf and beaned me in the side of the face. As blood started trickling down my cheek and onto my lips, I was able to read the label on the container (which was rolling around on the floor): “Save money if you buy me today!” Fair enough. I kicked it to the side and continued on my journey. By the time I reached the fruit aisle, the bleeding had stopped. I started to search for some spaghetti squash (another low carb treat) when I found myself sailing backwards onto the cold, hard floor. A stupid cantaloupe had rolled 'neath my boot. It, too, had a sticker on its shell: “Buy me and get another one free!” I didn't ask for the cantaloupe, so I pushed it away and headed to the checkout counter. I'll never shop there again, I swear. Things really started to get interesting on my way home.

Read more on And The Horse You Rode In On…

Inspired by one of today's posts on Tummymonsters.com, I thought I'd get this off of my chest once and for all. I cringe whenever I hear someone order an EXPRESSO. There's no “X” in the word, folks. If you don't know how to pronounce it, you shouldn't be allowed to: (a) serve it; (b) drink it; or (c) live. Then, if I ask for cream, I mean real cream… heavy cream… manufacturer's cream… heavy whipping cream. Not half and half. Not a non-dairy creamer. CREAM. That's what I asked for, and that's what I expect you to understand. Give it to me or get out of my way. Don't say you have something when you really have something else. You wouldn't walk into Burger King, ask for a Whopper, and expect to get a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in return, would you? You shouldn't be eating fast food in the first place, but I'll save that argument for another time. My point is: learn about what the hell you're eating or offering.

Read more on Thank You, Drive Through…

Thanks to a guy I met on a Bay Area discussion list, my new machine is assembled and running like a champ. It's a little louder than its predecessor, but that's the tradeoff for extreme speed. I'm not complaining too much. This experience gave me the opportunity to run out and get one of those new Sony DVD drives – more on that in a moment. I wish I could have found a PCI-based digital media reader device for one of my front 3.5″ bays, but the only ones I could find around here relied on USB 1.1. Anyway, I was instructed to reinstall the OS after the upgrades, but Windows XP has (thus far) gracefully handled the changes. I'll start the complete overhaul tomorrow, regardless. Once that's out of the way, the planning for a second system will commence. I'm hoping to create a PVR this time around. Looks like it's time to start researching TV tuner cards and the like! It's really too bad Microsoft isn't releasing their tuner software on PCs other than Media Editions. Perhaps one day, they'll change their tune? Assuming they can carry one, that is. I'm leaning towards an external solution, but wouldn't turn down something that sits on the inside of a case. I can add a new card, no problem. Ah, I'm starting to adore integrated sound and network adapters.

Read more on Uninterrupted Skin…

Well, I've got a new P4 system to build here. I can't tell you much about its specs, though. I have the hardware ready to rock, but I
feel strange doing it on my lonesome. Wanna come over and help me build it? Food and drink will be provided, and I'll even send you home with hardware I can't use anymore. It could mean a completely new system for YOU. I'm trying to get this done as quickly as possible. I live in the Castro now, and Sprocket would love to see ya. I'm not expecting to get much takers from this post, because most of you don't live in the Bay area – and if I don't know you at all yet, then we may have to wait until a better time to get together with a group of people. I'd post something in a newsletter, but the signal to noise ratio would be even worse. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

Read more on Use The Force…

Ya know, I'm used to my wife nagging me about things I need to get done around here. For the most part, she's got my best interests in mind. But when she complains that I need to update my blog, that's when she crosses the line. Well, she actually pees on it from a distance – which is quite a sight, let me tell ya. I've been a busy boy. Jake and Heather just left a few minutes ago, and I've been struggling to get my life (and desk) in order. I got sidetracked by Tom Lehrer this morning – and who wouldn't?! His incessant CD warbling was keeping me from taking my shower. I would have taken one earlier in the day, but Gretchen beat me to it. Now all the showers are gone, and I'm stuck with rolling around naked in a cold tub. Feels like the first time. Almost. Which brings me to the reason for this post: I've got a couple of boxes of my e-mail publishing book sitting in Styrofoam and I need to get rid of them all in short order. I'm thinking of doing a book signing somewhere in the Bay area – as soon as I can find a business to host it. I'd invite y'all over to our place, but… Jesus, how stupid do I look? Don't answer that question. It's rhetorical. And if there's one thing I can't get enough of, it's rhetoric. Rheally. More later. Tub calling.

Read more on Busy Week…

Thank god.

A long time ago, I used the Internet as a dating service. Big deal, right? Well, remember – a long time ago, we didn't have the Web (and we certainly didn't have IRC). I relied on BBSes like ISCA and classic Usenet via 'tin' on the command line of my University shell account. Meeting girls through my favorite forums was fun. A decade later, if you don't have an IM account of some sort, you're not really counted as being online. I'm happily married now (and I should probably note that Gretchen and I met each other in real life before we ever communicated via the Internet). Where am I going with this? Well, you've heard of the stories where boy meets girl (or boy meets boy or girl meets girl) and they live happily ever after? Check it out… GeekGrrl met Milbertus in the Lockergnome chat room. Now they're engaged to be married. I can't tell you how happy this makes me; I don't know either of them very well, but I'm thrilled to have created an online resource where their friendship could blossom. Too cool. Too freakin' cool.

Read more on Love. Exciting and New….

Ya know, after reading Mitch Ratcliffe's post regarding last weekend's trip to The Campus (and Doc Searls' Blogo Culpa), I just thought I'd clear the air on a few things. (1) I'm not a journalist. (2) I don't get invited to go to many places throughout the year. (3) If I do get invited, I usually have to pay my own way. (4) Since I can't usually afford to pay my own way, I don't usually get to go. (5) “Underground” sites don't usually get the recognition / attention that major media players do. (6) I have no problem telling you that I saw cool stuff this weekend. (7) I have no problem telling you that I told Microsoft where they were messing up. (8) More companies should treat their enthusiasts / evangelists the way Beth Goza treated us. (9) Markets are still conversations. (10) Nobody pays me to say anything I don't want to say. (11) If you didn't go, you don't really know what went on. (12) Bill Gates wasn't at the junket, he probably doesn't know who I am, nor does he really care what I do or say. (13) I'm tired of having to rely on press releases and third-party information; I need to base my opinions on solid experiences. The only way that's going to happen is if I'm thrown into a hands-on situation. (14) There were Palm devices aplenty at Mobius 2002. (15) There were Apple iPods aplenty at Mobius 2002. (16) There was talk of Linux at Mobius 2002. (17) This guy challenged just about everything that was presented. (18) 75% of us still aren't sold on the Smartphone concept. (19) 100% of us didn't get a Smartphone to run through the wringer. (20) Palm has never invited me to learn more about their products.

Read more on Copius Mobius Foibles?…

Please don't ask me why I did this. I'm trying to prepare for my appearance on David's show. We're supposed to be talking about free versus fee content, and that's something I know a lot about. Saying that you're entitled to get something without paying for it is ludicrous. Even when you pay your ISP to get access to the Internet doesn't mean you have the right to access every bit of it. Would you whine to your cable provider because they didn't give you HBO for free? I pay for anything that I think is worth paying for. Like dancing president graphics. I got 'em for the low price of $4.50 apiece (Canadian).

Read more on Touch My Bush…

I'm now the star of my very own Switch ad. Watch me and wonder how much Apple paid me to do it.

We didn't have Internet access from the conference room yesterday. Whoever says Microsoft isn't secure has obviously never visited their campus, where it was impossible for anybody without credentials to get online. Anyway, we saw some really cool stuff – including a demo of the latest Visual Studio. The guy ported a Windows XP application over to Windows CE with a quick copy / paste method. I think I've figured out what .NET is supposed to be: invisible compatibility. And that, my friends, is cool. We also saw a Tablet PC demonstration – although I was only able to catch the tail end of it, as I had to do a hit on TSS in the late afternoon.

Read more on Katchup Before Lunch…

For the first time in my life, I'm staying in a hotel room that has a T1! Oh, baby! I'm here in Redmond for a Pocket PC junket of sorts; I'll be here until Sunday morning. Wow. I even have a nice view of the tennis courts. I've set up my Webcam and will keep it live for you when I go to the evening mixer. Hey – I just thought of something. I bet they'll have wireless (or wired) access on the conference floor. Perhaps I'll be able to blog live from the event? I dunno. They may have me sign one of those NDA thingies. I'll have to ask 'em just to be sure. Man, this room is awesome. Although, I think I need a plunger. I didn't do it! I swear, I didn't do it!

Read more on True Room Service…

UPDATE! See what you missed? If you're 404'ing on the link, that's because the video is still in the process of being uploaded. I had to use iMovie again because the learning curve on Vegas Video is too steep. Maybe Jake can help when he comes to visit in a week or so. Check back in another ten minutes.

Read more on The Gnomedexers…

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According to today's Apple Store, you can get a LaCie d2 FireWire Drive at a pretty good price. Of course, it also says: “Get TONS of storage (120MB).” Now, I don't wanna pee in anybody's Cheerios here, but… that ain't a whole lot. If the device came in a nice floral or polka-dot pattern, then at least I could forgive the exorbitant price. And in case they decide to change it on me, I've saved a copy of the screen. Please verify my findings ASAP.

Read more on Apple *IS* Overpriced…