What's He Saying?

“So… what're you wearing? Mmhmm… mmhmm…”
Sorry, I couldn't resist. :)

“So what do you say we get a couple of NICs and install them in our PCs, baby? Take a little cat5 and get connected? Yeah, you like that?
I thought so…”
Cause that Pirillo dude…is one smooth operator.

“You DO NOT talk about Fight Club!”
C'mon Chris tell us the truth, how do you cover your lye scar?

*grits his teeth* I wish these people would stop asking me so many f***ing questions!!

Got my Mac…
Got my Pocket PC…
Who can ask for anything more?
OK, so I'd want another PC, another PDA, fancier camera…

“Hey! get on your comp and look at this new Background I put on my Blog..It's Pinkish swirling polkadots that morph into an animated image of Jarjar Binks doing the macarena..Hah! My readers thought the teddy bears and rainbow was bad…Bwa-hahahahahah!”

The cup holder on the front is what!? Ok, heres how you fix it.
Find the big black cable in back, unplug this cable. Put the computer in the box take it to the store and say.
“I need a refund. I am too stupid to own a computer.”
Thanks and have a nice day.

“Yeah, I know I look spiffy, but what about you, Leo?”
:)
/e

“Excuse Me?!? I 0wn the Software!!”
or (haha, sorry for this one)
“Hey, is that the new stage producer? w00t!”

“Waaaassssssssuuup!”

“Hello - em - my name is Steven Thrasher and..I..sent my canon laptop computer into you. I just got it back. Everything that I've written on it for the past two years is gone…
I was told - that you guys were going - that that I'd be called if you had to replace the hard drive?
I called canonthey said the hard drive didn't need to be replaced they just said the motherboard n'deed to be replaced - and everything that I've been working on FOR THE PAST 2 GODDAM F**KING YEARS OF MY LIFE - IS GONE!!!!
YOU F**KING ASSHOLES!!! NOW I WANT YOU TO CALL ME BACK - STOP F**KING ME AROUND - AND MAKE SURE
THAT I GET BACK WHAT I'VE BEEN WORKING ON!!! DO YOU F**KING UNDERSTAND ME!!? 'N I'M TIRED OF YOU F**KING AROUND WITH ME!!!
I HAD BETTER GET MY GODDAM DISK DRIVE BACK OR I'M GOING TO SUE ALL OF YOU F**KING PIECES OF *S**T*!!!!”

“Hey, I may be wearing pink, But at least I dont wear skirts like patrick norton does”
Chris Edison
Hipster Of Danger

Sent into Cat during the show earlier…
“I wear the red shirt on TV just for Robyn…”

“This new chair does wonders for your height”

“I LIKE BEANS”

“No, Cat…Gretchen just left. Five minutes okay?”
*ducks*

Man, I wish they'd go ahead and finish the stinking picture! I've been standing still so long that my leg's all wet from Sprocket thinking I was a tree.

Yeah, thats three cups of peets four large pizzas and hold on, “blasts to room” does anyone want any grub, i'm getting myself lunch.

Sure Mr. Yankovic, I can write the lyrics for some computer songs for your next album…

“What am I supposed to say with this sh*tty grin on my face?”
or
“The garlic on the pizza last night is really making me fart….awww…ohhhh.”

'dude, did you see natalie portman in that leather corset? gr0wr!'

This is gonna sound kinda silly, but I'm not sure I know what I'm doing.

“Hey dookie pick up the phone.”
“WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUP”

“….because Netscape sucks, that's why.”

“Do you Grok TechTv?”

“Do you Grok TechTv?”

“Do you Grok TechTv?”

“DUDE YOU'RE GETTING A DELL”

“Why is my phone wireless but my computer isn't?”

Hey! You should check out our GnomeTomes!

Do I have Spinach in My teeth?

“Digital, Digital get down haa!!!, Just you and me what about it G. Hello Hello, are you still there”

Of course there's free beer at Gnomedex!

TAKE 2 FLOPPY'S AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING

Hey Baby, how you doin'? (Maybe with a “little hottie” thrown in for excitement.)

…Thats right… I want him dead by coffee break… What? Why not? Fine, just get it done by Tuesday… oh.. oh.. We're.. um.. on the air.. um, yeah, just get me some of those.. um.. $4000 servers.. yeah that's right. No no, I…..
and it just goes on like that.

(pr0n site displayed on Chris' laptop)
“Yeah, hi mom… I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING! I SWEAR! DON'T ASK!”

“Thirty-Seven?!”

Can you hear me now??

See you in August…

“…and then I said to him, “That's not what your mom said last night!” Yeah… uh huh. He hit me pretty hard. Yep, in the face.”

“Yes, I just shaved my back.”

yes 42, the answer is 42…

“Is your refrigerator running…?”

“lemme talk to the ferret.”

“By virtue of human reason, the employment of the Transcendental Deduction proves the validity of the intelligible objects in space and time. Since all of our sense perceptions are analytic, the Ideal, in so far as this expounds the contradictory rules of natural causes, should only be used as a canon for the pure employment of the Categories; consequently, the Ideal of practical reason occupies part of the sphere of the Transcendental Deduction concerning the existence of the Antinomies in general.”

“Yeah - To fix that error, you'll need to reinstall XP twice, and call me in the morning…”

Joe's Taxidermy. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em.

oh hears another. Joe's Crematorium. You kill 'em, we grill 'em.

I LIKE CHEESE!!

I know you are, but what am I!

Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Hello? I don't this chartoon phone is working for me. Niether is this chartton chair and computer. Hey! Wait a minute! I'm a chartoon! NOOOOOOOOO! I'm stuck in Tv Land! HHHEEELLLPPP!!!!

“Yeah, so Sprocket is just a humpin away on my leg. I put some polish on his butt to buff my shoes…”

**Thinking** Somebody Get This Camera Off Of Me **Thinking**

So Paul… I hear Dvorak's job is open….. ????????