2002 May

Hot off the presses! This one even has lyrics: Upgrades for Nothing.

So, Gretchen and I are driving home from Peet's and we hear Desmond Crisis (or someone who sounds an awful lot like Desmond) on CNET radio say: “Because I own the software.” Almost immediately, the theme from Rocky sprang to mind and I started making up lyrics on the spot. I got home and had the complete parody whipped out in less than two hours. And it shows. Take a listen to I 0wn the Software. Maybe I'll record a better version one of these days?

Read more on Thanks, Desmond…

Oh, wow. Attack of the Clones was, in a word, AWESOME. I was extremely impressed with Episode II – from beginning to end. The trite dialogue everyone keeps complaining about? Sorry, but I was so wrapped up in the “feel” of being in the Star Wars universe again, I wasn't bothered by it. Even Threepio's puns had me laughing aloud! AOTC brought me back to the fold. Kudos, Lucas. Gretchen and I caught a matinee presentation at the Metreon, courtesy of the wild Fandango. After the film, we wandered into a new comic book store. Sweet! Man, I wish I could get into that scene again – but it's so expensive! I'd love to get the comics, but I just can't justify the prices. Anybody got any old comics they don't want anymore? I don't want to collect them or anything, I just want to read them. GI Joe, Transformers, Star Wars, etc. I saw some Jack Skellington figures there, too. I didn't feel like dropping the dough, though.

Read more on The Best Attack…

Why are people installing the preview of Netscape 7.0?! What, do they think it'll be any better than older versions? It doesn't make any sense – considering that Mozilla is leaner, cleaner, and meaner. I know the open source project is still in beta, but would you rather knowingly install crapware on your system? I picked up a glorified computer magazine (read: pamphlet) last night. The editor was proud of running Netscape 4.x on a daily basis. What?! Is this dude on acid!? There are far better alternatives than a browser that was a piece of shit the DAY it hit the Web. He even admitted that it was not without its share of bugs. Hey, if Windows gave me problems all the time, you can bet your sweet bippy that I wouldn't be using it as my primary OS. Nothing's perfect, but that's no reason to settle for something that's far from second best. I don't get it. I just don't get why people think that Netscape is the bee's knees. It's not. It sucks. It's always sucked – and I'll go as far as to predict that it always WILL SUCK. I don't want the RealPlayer. I don't want SmartDownload. I don't want ICQ. I don't want AIM. I don't want any of that.

Read more on I Don't Get It…

My fingers must have slipped last night. I didn't mean to post an animated bear background. I don't know what I was thinking. Perhaps it was the coffee?

Sorry about the flying rainbow background. It'll be back again someday. I think I like this new one a little better. What do you think?

Just experimenting…

And now, the ultimate collection of screen captures from when Cheyenne Visited Call for Help.

Dear Chris, thanks for your great service. Now, for a little heads up to your community. I am pastor of a very poor parish on the Texas / Mexico border. The parish offer several social services, for which we have been dependent on grants. We chose Quickbooks for the accounting that grant writing requires. And we have been happy with Quickbooks–for six years now. No longer. Last week, when we finally had to upgrade our computer, we inherited XP. With that change, our Quickbooks verson 6 would not work. We called “customer serviceÂâ€? (which has become an oxymoron like “military intelligenceÂâ€?, “tax rebateÂâ€?, “free checkingÂâ€?) who kindly (and happily) told us that we would have to fork over $160 because (to quote the “service” manager), “that version is too old for us to offer you customer support.Ââ€? I told him that we didnÂ’t want customer support. He replied, “Well, thatÂ’s too bad, but the only way for this program to work on your computer is for you to buy an upgrade to our product.Ââ€? We will get the program in “a week to ten daysÂâ€? (“QuickÂâ€? books). We will be out $160, which could have purchased several pairs of shoes for some of the poor kids here in our parish, or bought some medicine for an elderly person who needs more than the three medicines that Medicaid will pay for. I rue the lack of common sense in the software world (is $160 so important to them that they would be willing to lose the good will of a long time customer—and a corporate customer at that (there are 85 parishes here, all of whom will know this story by tomorrow)? But more, it is sad to see the lack of common decency. Thank you for your attention. [Fr. Michael, Brownsville, Texas]

Read more on Outuit…

Uh… if you hadn't already made up your mind about coming to Gnomedex, make it up quickly. One, registration is higher at the door. Two, Chey and G are drunk off their asses right now. Wow. Y'all won't wanna miss this. Multiply it by 1,000 and you'll have one helluva memorable party. Wow. These two are saying some pretty damn funny things right now. I'd record 'em, but I'm afrai… wait a second. Let me flick on my mic.

Read more on Hey Occifer!…

Hey folks! I'm glad y'all enjoyed Cheyenne's appearance on CFH earlier today. Some people have been saying that TechTV has lost touch with its fan base. I'd disagree. When Adam Dreyfus first pitched the idea of bringing Chey onto the show, I was all for it. I know we'd be nowhere without viewers like her. One of the reasons we created Gnomedex (on the Lockergnome side of things) was so that we could meet our “virtual” friends face to face in a place that was geeky, friendly, and fun. Sure, life can get crazy at times, and I don't always answer my e-mails, and I don't always update my blog on an hourly basis, but that doesn't mean I love y'all any less. We're about to head across the street to the Flower Market Cafe now. l8r g8rz!

Read more on God's Honest Truth…

Would you like to play a Game?

I saw your story about identity theft, and wanted to tell you about something that the
state of Texas does/did that caused a friend of mine a real headache a couple of years
ago. My friend moved here from another state and was still using his other state's for
the first month or so. He was writing checks at the local stores without any problems,
but as soon as he changed his drivers license, and started using his new Texas Id
Driver's License number, his checks were being rejected. After fussing with this problem
for a few months, he finally found out that Texas recycles old Drivers License numbers,
and the guy who had previously had his DL number, had written bad checks at the stores
where he was having problems. My friend had finally found out that the Check
Verification services had his new DL number associated with this guy who had written the
bad checks and any place that was running the DL # as part of the verification was when
his checks were flagged. I don't know if Texas has since changed this practice or not,
but it was a big wake-up call for my friend.

Read more on Texas Security…

What the hell did I do? Suddenly, Microsoft Excel is giving me numbers for both my columns and my rows. I have no idea how I toggled this setting. Ugh.